


The Gayliens From the Honourable House of El

by Lola_McGee



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A moderate amount of angst, And makes mention of that in the author notes, Carter and Kal are basically dating, F/F, I LOVE JESS, If that's going to be a problem, Kal-El isn't Clark, Kara isn't a Danvers, Kara's a bit of a bi mess, Lots and lots of Jess, Maybe on the graphic violence, More tags to be added, No Rape/Non-con, No underage, Probably lots of fluff, Slow Burn, So be warned; it gets worse before it gets better, So this has turned a lot angstier than originally intended, Some humour, Swearing, The author sometimes isn't sober, just a warning, like ya do, maybe on the major character death, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-12-07 10:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 38,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11621433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_McGee/pseuds/Lola_McGee
Summary: What if Kal got stuck in the Phantom Zone with Kara?  What if they landed at Earth at the same time?  What if Kara had to raise Kal by herself?OR:The fic in which Kara and Kal landed on Earth at the same time, and therefore everything has changed.Also Kara has an accent.  For some reason.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note:  
> je.ju and ieiu are my preferred romanizations of the Kryptoniou word for mother. Merely for the purpose of this fic, je.ju is treated as a "correct" romanization; simply to distinguish that Kara speaks the language fluently, while Kal does not. Other fics do it differently and that's wonderfully okay and awesome!
> 
> All dialogue in italics is Kryptoniou. All dialogue in bold and italics is Kazakh.
> 
> * * *
> 
> So! This chapter was initially published on my oneshot series "Absolutely Ridiculous One shots". And you guys seemed to love it. This chapter is almost the exact same thing; just some minor edits, so if you read that, you don't neeeeeed to reread this chapter but I wouldn't complain if you do!
> 
> The first new content should be coming Friday. After that, once per week until it's... sort of done? We'll see how it goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say something because it's not what I usually do.
> 
> Usually when I tag something as "Creator Chose not to Use Archive Warnings", it really means that I might stray into the territory that may require a warning without intending it, or because I touch on topics that aren't really any of the major warning tags, but might be safe to warn people about.
> 
> However this fic, I am intentionally using this not to spoil the story. That being said, this fic will not have Underage and will not have Rape/Non-Con.
> 
> So if it is a real problem for you if either character death or graphic depictions of violence, please don't read this fic, since I cannot guarantee that this fic will be all kosher to read. Please be safe! I love you all!

Kara Zor-El hears the young footsteps long before the door opens, a small smile appearing on her face as she starts to busy herself in the kitchen, preparing a meal for a young Kryptonian and his human friend. She feels as if today is… a peanut butter and jelly day. She feels it deeply within her bones. So, with a careful application of super speed, when the door bangs open she’s waiting with a few sandwiches.

“Ieiu, I’m home!”

 _”Kal, how many people did you bring home?”_ She knows the answer to the question, having heard two familiar pairs of feet from over a mile away, but she loves the normalcy of asking the question, of hearing her native language roll off her tongue, having someone understand her.

“It’s just Carter, Ieiu.”

 _”Just Carter, you say. Never in your thirteen years has there ever been a ‘just’ anything. Especially not ‘just’ Carter.”_ Her voice is light, trying to tease and make young Kal blush. Sure, it’s technically an impossibility under this yellow sun, but he still turns his face downward and stutters, fiddling with the corner of his glasses.

(It had taken her days to find the right material to make them out of; to make both of their glasses out of. She knew going in that Earth would be… would be different. That the solar radiation would cause some changes.

But that knowledge was nothing on the actuality. The loudness of this new planet, the bright colours. How all of her senses bled together nearly immediately. At least Kal didn’t get as instantly affected as her.)

(The day she discovered lead dampens her powers, is a day that she will forever keep close to her heart.

It was the first time she smiled since landing on Earth.)

“Ieiu!” Kara laughs at Kal’s weak sputtering retort, as well as the way he stumbles over Kryptoniou pronunciation, even a simple word like je.ju.

(It hurts, sometimes, to be the last fluent speaker. It hurts, but at least Kal understands when she speaks. At least he knows what she’s saying.)

Kara senses Carter more than she sees him; feels him silently observe the interaction. She _hears_ the slight stutter in his heart as his eyes glance over Kal and… interesting.

“It is good to see you Carter.” And she winces; the accent tainting her attempts to speak English. She may have learned the language in a single day, but she can’t overcome how the words don’t fit naturally on her tongue. That English is about the most distant tongue she ever learned. That she’ll always be marked as a foreigner.

“It’s good to see you too, Ms. Zor-El.” And that’s why she likes Carter. He barely notices when she fiddles with her glasses, having forgotten some idiom or not understood some turn of phrase. He doesn't ever try to correct her, unless her understanding of the phrase is critical to the conversation. There’s no judgement or condescension. Just a sweet kid who probably is a little weird amongst humans, but then again, so is Kara.

“How is your mother, us’kah?” His face brightens; it’s one of the few topics near-guaranteed to bring a smile to his face.

(Kara actually worked for Cat Grant for a few years; as her assistant. Before Kal started developing his powers. Before she needed to start taking care of him full time.) 

(She still does, in a way. Carter is over often enough (especially when Cat is working), and Kara receives weekly checks in the mail, the memo always saying “For taking care of him”. Kara’s fairly certain that, somewhere along the way, she’s become Cat Grant’s unofficial (?) baby sitter. Well, what she gets from Cat is far more than she needs from her, but she’s willing to take it.)

“She’s doing really well. Planning on opening a new branch of CatCo, but hasn’t decided where. I think she wants to do it in Metropolis but doesn’t want have to deal with Lois Lane any more than she has to.” Kara chuckles. “I think she missed having you as her assistant too.”

Kara shakes her head. “You and Kal, you two are already enough for me to handle, there is no need to add Cat Grant to the list.” She waves her hand. “You are both dismissed; snacks are made and you both know where to find them.”

Her smile is fond as the two run off. She can’t stop herself from yelling behind them “Also remember to keep the door open.” She doesn’t quite understand; she knows it has to do with human mating, but she still can’t grasp it. It’s just so… so alien.

Yet the two rapidly beating hearts tells her that she’s done her job.

* * *

Receiving a call from Cat Grant is just as terrifying whether or not she has to report directly to her. A momentary panic overwhelms her; wonders whether she’s accidentally sent Carter in a coma or something before she remembers that Carter is _in the room next door_ , and nowhere near Cat. She can _hear_ Carter; hear his normal breathing and relatively normal heart rate.

(Though Kara somehow wouldn’t be surprised if Cat knew something’s wrong with Carter before even Kara did; the woman is eerily prescient.)

What she didn’t expect is for Cat Grant to be yelling at her from the moment she picked up the phone. “Kiera! Come to my office; there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Kara stumbles for a moment, her mind not mentally wrapping around the words that Cat actually said; she was too wrapped up in the billions of things that she could have done wrong to demand Cat Grant’s wrath. “Excuse me, Ms. Grant?”

“Was I unclear, Kiera? I’d like you to come to my office to meet someone.”

Kara reaches out for a pen and pad to make notes; she doesn’t need to, but there’s something grounding in the action; in forcing herself “When… When would you like for me to meet this person, Ms. Grant?”

“As soon as possible, Kiera. You’re giving me a headache like after a night of drinking with the President. She can really hold her alcohol.”

“But… Ms. Grant, I can not leave Carter and Kal on their own.” She hears the uptick in Kal’s heart rate, the little murmured ‘why yes you can’ that probably only she can hear. She stifles a chuckle at that. As if she’d let those two stay on their own and _together_.

Cat sighs, and Kara can perfectly see the how her hand rises to her forehead, how her eyes roll as if Kara’s statement viscerally offends and exasperates her. “Kiera, I am Carter’s mother. I can have my son around _my_ media empire for a little while, and am perfectly capable of making sure his boyfriend is taken care of too. Chop Chop!” Kara stays on the phone for a moment, trying to process this sudden request. “Chop chop Kiera! I said chop chop!” And with that Cat hangs up. Taking a moment to breathe (Cat Grant always had the ability to overwhelm her), she pauses before she calls out to the two in the room next door.

“Carter, Kal! That was your mother, Carter. She wants me to meet her at CatCo for… reasons I can not really quite understand, something about meeting someone. But anyway, that apparently means we have to head there now.” Carter beams and Kal stares at Carter’s smile.

Seriously, those two.

* * *

Using public transportation to get to CatCo really annoys Kara; she could have been at the office in less than five minutes if she could fly. But really, Kal isn’t in full control of that particular power yet, and she shouldn’t flaunt her powers too openly.

(She remembers the day that she first did that; the look on those human’s face as she flew, as her body crashed through several walls. As she tore the door off of Kal’s pod, reaching inside desperately to draw him to her. She remembers those faces; the emotion she would inevitably figure out as… _fear_.)

(That’s when she learned that it’s best if humans don’t know.)

So here she is, hands waving at two teenagers to follow, patently ignoring the moon eyes that they shoot at each other, speed walking as quickly as she can (well, within reason), to the elevator, to the top floor, nodding her head at any employee’s who’ve survived since her tenure.

The woman sitting in Cat’s office, honestly, draws Kara’s eyes. It’s difficult not to; she’s centered herself in the room; her dark hair and dark aesthetic popping against the softer colours that make up Cat’s personal taste. Kara believes that Cat would approve of this colour scheme.

(Kara’s certain that Cat would approve, when the woman turns with a smile on her face, the aftereffect of a laugh, and all Kara can see is a pale face, painted red lips, green eyes. Each working to contrast every other piece of her face, each accentuating and supporting beautifully.)

(Yes, this is a colour scheme worthy of memorizing.)

Neither Cat nor the woman have showed any signs of noticing her or the two boys, even as she stands outside her office. Kara is running through her mental _Cat Grant Playbook_ , trying to remember which is the most appropriate action that involves the least yelling; she is about to knock when Carter steps forward and pushes the door open, entering the office. That solves that problem.

Open glancing to see who opened her door, Cat beams; the one she reserves for her sons. “Carter, I’m so glad to see you! And…” she turns to Kara with a rather… quick change in demeanour, “It’s so good for you to join us, Kiera. Now... ” And she stands, walking to the door, over to Carter and Kal and Kara. “Kiera, this is Lena Luthor. I think you two would be very interested in… getting to know each other. She needs an assistant and, well, you’re the only one of my former assistants that I actually tolerate.” Cat’s voice is actually soft, almost… affectionate. “So, I’ll take these two young lovebirds… I don’t know, out for salad or something, and you two can have a little chat here. Is that alright?”

Kara bends down to talk to Kal for a brief moment. _Kal, stay with Carter, okay?_

He rolls his eyes, and Kara just chuckles. “Yes, Ieiu.”

 _”Good. I love you, Kal-El.”_ She presses a soft kiss to his forehead; taking the opportunity to trill softly; it comforts both of them; using this piece of biology unique to themselves.

“I love you too, Ieiu.” He pulls away and rushes off to stand with Carter and Cat, who take their leave.

Kara sits across from the woman, offering her hand; the woman… _Lena_ smirks while she shakes back.

(Lena’s hands are so… so… intriguing; Kara doesn’t like touching most hands, they’re too weird, especially when Kara can feel every whorl, and old scars and dryness and any other number of imperfections. Lena’s hands, while exactly like anyone else’s hands, are far more pleasant to hold.)

(She only remembers after several moments that she’s been touching the other woman’s hand for far too long; though Lena hasn’t said anything about it. Kara still lets go, only slightly reluctantly.) 

“I am Kara Zor-El. And I am sorry to… tell you that I am not currently looking for employment. I am so sorry that Ms. Grant has wasted your time.”

The woman speaks up; an accent poorly concealed. “Cat never mentioned that you’re multilingual.” (Kara runs her mind through the compendium of accents; she believes it’s Irish, but she needs to hear more to figure it out; honestly wants to hear more.)

Kara ducks her head, her mind working, recounting the cover story that she developed oh so long ago. “Yes well, I am originally from Kazakhstan; Russian descent. So, as well as English, I know both Kazakh, which is my native tongue and what I just spoke to Kal, and Russian. Not exclusively.”

“Interesting… You know what’s interesting about that?” Kara shakes her head, and Lena’s voice shifts, the tones change.

(It takes a moment for Kara to realize that she’s speaking a different language; all tongues on Earth are simply… foreign to her. Her tongue and mouth usually pick up the change before she does, as she swiftly shifts to whatever language the other is speaking; there are only a handful of languages on Earth Kara doesn’t speak, all of them spoken by so few.)

(She tries to learn them, however. If she can carry on to speak those words, like she carries on to speak Kryptoniou. That, as long as these languages carry on, there’s the last flicker of a dying ember. She knows it’s a bit fruitless; that so much of language is cultural. Yet she has to try; if not her, then whom?)

(It takes her another moment to realize that this woman is speaking Kazakh; the language of her choice.)

**_“See, I speak Kazakh, and that definitely wasn’t Kazakh.”_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has to deal with the aftermath of her conversation with Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I basically wrote this chapter relatively quickly, and I hate staring at it right now so I have no idea how good it is; especially since it's mostly conversation and exposition. Just bear with this chapter, we get some more good stuff next chapter I promise!

_**”See, I speak Kazakh, and that definitely wasn’t Kazakh.”** _

Despite the panic blooming in Kara, the way her legs vibrate to _run_ , she had planned for an occasion like this. After all, no language is spoken by just one.

(She definitely does not think of Kryptoniou; she doesn’t remember the fact that the last time she heard it properly spoken outside of her dreams was… was…)

(No, she doesn’t think of Kryptoniou. It isn’t a language; not any more.)

 _ **”Really? It must be the particular dialect I speak then. I left Kazakhstan quite young, and while I’ve never… I am a proud Kazakh, but some of the… Some…”**_ Kara forces herself to take a breath; to steel herself before she forgets. **_“You forget things, after a long time.”_**

Lena regards Kara, her head tilting, eyes unblinking. Kara forces herself to meet Lena’s gaze, to not look away, to not show the prickling emptiness building behind her eyes. “Mrs. Zor-El--”

“Ms.” Kara corrects Lena quickly before turning her head away, eyes downcast; she doesn’t know why she jumped to interject. It was a split second decision, perhaps one to distract Lena (and herself) from the conversation that hangs heavily over them.

“Oh?” Lena’s eyes widen and her heart rate increases slightly; the soothing thumping noise become slightly erratic.

(Kara hadn’t noticed until that moment that she had tuned in Lena’s heartbeat; she wonders briefly how often she does it. Whether she’s listened to the barista’s heartbeat, or the store clerk’s. How often does she use these heartbeats as the background noise of her life without realizing it?)

“Indeed. I am not married.”

“So, that boy who came with you…”

“Kal.”

“Kal. He’s your son, isn’t he?” Kara doesn’t answer; instead regarding Lena with an open curiosity, unsure of where this conversation is headed, or what this line of conversation even achieves. After a moment, Lena speaks up again. “How old is Kal?”

“Thirteen.” She sees a range of emotions flicker over Lena’s face; many that Kara cannot identify. She remains silent in confusion.

“Anyway, Ms. Zor-El,” Lena reaches over and touches Kara’s hand briefly. Her hand is as warm and soft as previously and Kara almost misses it when Lena retracts it, “I understand that you aren’t interested in any job offer and I respect that. However, I would love to meet with you to… discuss anyways. Are you free tomorrow?”

Kara nods before she thinks about it. Her response is automatic, unmeasured; trusting.

(As she’s been several times, now, in this conversation. She doesn’t know why. Has it really been so long since she had someone question her story that she forgot how to defend it properly?)

(She can’t find herself regretting her nod, though, when she sees the smile Lena offers her.)

“Good. Then can you…” She fumbles around in her bag, pulling out a pen and paper, quickly scrawling a quick note before pressing it into Kara’s hand, “can you meet me at this address tomorrow at 11? In the morning to be clear.” Kara finds herself nodding again, and Lena stands. “Great! I’ll see you then.” She flashes a bright smile on her way out, while Kara sits there, dumbfounded.

(The image of her smile, red lips painted framing white teeth burns itself into Kara’s memory. She finds herself awed by the sight; it’s like nothing she’s ever seen before.)

(She wonders, for the first time, whether there’s something special about Lena Luthor.)

* * *

It’s late by the time that Kara and Kal are left on their own; Kara unable to resist the combined pouts of Carter and Kal when they requested going out for ice cream after leaving CatCo. And it’s time to send Kal off to bed; a teenage Kryptonian on Earth needs about four hours of sleep.

But first… 

_”Kal, before you go to sleep, can we talk?”_

She hears his heart rate increase; hears his pupils widening before she sees it. He’s nervous, his body shifting in the couch next to her.

(She realizes that he can hear how nervous she is.)

“Yes, Ieiu?”

 _“Us’kah… I love you. You are…”_ The words Astra spoke to her, so long ago, floated in her consciousness. _“I couldn’t love a child more if Rao had blessed me with one of my own. That’s why…”_

“That’s why?”

_“That’s why this conversation is so difficult, us’kah. The woman… The woman I met with today, she seems to figure out that I’m not… I’m not really human. I… I’ll have to go and meet with her tomorrow. I really don’t think she means any harm, but it might be dangerous. I… I can’t… I can’t guarantee that I’ll come back. So that’s why I need you to know; if you don’t hear from me by bedtime tomorrow, you have to go. Find somewhere safe. You know where the emergency money and supplies are.”_

His eyes are blown with panic, darting around the room; his pulse skyrocketing. “But Ieiu! I can’t do it without you! I’m not… I’m not you!”

 _“Kal look at me.”_ His eyes don’t stop flickering around the room, so she gently touches his face; attempting to ground him. His eyes flicker onto hers and she smiles softly. _“Kal-El, you are the best of me. You are smart and strong and brave. When we first landed on Earth, I was just a scared little girl who had to look after her baby cousin like a mother. Now… you are my son in all but biology, and while I will always be here for you when I can, I know you would be able to do so much better than me.”_

His body is suddenly flung against hers, his hands grasping at her as tightly as he can. _“I love you Ieiu.”_

Instead of responding, Kara gasps from Kal’s stumbling words, and lets the tears flow.

* * *

It’s ten to 11 and Kara’s restlessly pacing in front of a nondescript building. This is the address that Lena told her to meet her at; Kara’s checked multiple times. But she finds herself unable to go in; it feels important, that this goes right. That she makes a proper impression on Lena.

(It’s to protect herself. To protect Kal.)

(It’s to feed her own curiosity.)

(It’s to satisfy Lena’s curiosity.)

So she resists going in immediately and appearing too eager, continuing her pacing, until a head pops out from the front door.

“Umm… Miss? Are you Ms. Zor-El?”

Kara nods vigorously, stopping herself in her tracks, not trusting herself to speak.

“Hi, I’m Jess. I’m Ms. Luthor’s outgoing executive assistant. She told me you’d be by. Come on in?” The woman beckons her and Kara follows her inside.

The room she steps into is as nondescript as the building itself. There is nothing indicating what you come to this building to do; there’s not even a name. There’s just a desk (which clearly is Jess’, by the way that there are two half filled boxes sitting on it; presumably her own personal items), a few overstuffed chairs, and a coffee table.

Jess just points at the elevator. “Now, go through there, up to the fifth floor, and at the end of the hall is Ms. Luthor’s office. Can’t miss it. Now if you’ll excuse me…” She gestures to her own desk. “I have to be clearing your desk off for you.” She chuckles at the joke, and Kara joins in, even though Kara doesn’t really get it.

But, seeing it as the permission it clearly is, Kara heads into the elevator, and makes her way as quickly as she allows herself to Lena’s office.

(She hates how slow Earth is. She loves Kal but Kal… Kal doesn’t understand; the world has always been exactly as slow as it is on Earth to him. She, however, remembers when she moved in sync with other people; when she didn’t outpace them, didn’t have to force herself to act as if she is permanently moving through a thick liquid. If she doesn’t consciously slow herself down, she sometimes feels as if she can see the frames of the universe; each micromovement loudly drawing attention to itself.)

(She learned, really quickly, to always consciously slow herself down.)

It’s an eternity before she’s standing in front of Lena’s office, before she knocks quietly, before she hears a muffled “come in”. And yet when she does enter, she feels as if she needs another eternity to have prepared.

Lena’s sitting at a desk, throwing Kara an easy smile, her lips no longer painted a bright red, but a softer pink. In fact, everything about Lena is softer than at Cat’s office. The room is cheerful, filled with pastels and soft colours, and Lena’s wearing a bright blue dress that hugs her body snugly.

(Kara thinks she likes this version of Lena quite a bit.)

“Please, please, sit.” She gestures at a chair sitting across from Kara, and Kara complies.

“Now to start off with, I… apologize Ms. Zor-El, but I didn’t really ask you here today about a an assistant position.” She raises her hand, as if trying to stop some hypothetical objection Kara might have before Kara can even think it. “Yes, when I spoke to Cat, it was in the hopes of finding someone to replace Jess; but a) it’s clear you don’t want the job, and 2)--”

“I believe you mean b), Ms. Luthor.” Kara winces when the words come out; even from what little she understands about human interactions, she knows that’s a terrible place to begin a conversation.

Lena’s face scrunches up, and a small crinkle appears above the bridge of her nose. (Kara finds she can’t move her gaze from it.) “Excuse me?”

“You said a) I don’t want the job and then 2), but it would be b).” Kara’s voice trails off at the end, confidence in her own words fading with each passing syllable.

Suddenly Lena laughs, and the tension melts from Kara; replaced by a warm glow. (Kara decides she likes Lena’s laugh.) “Did I? I apologize then. Anyway, b) I feel like there’s something you ought to know.”

Kara tenses; this is the moment that determines so much. This is why Lena asked her to come by. “What is it, Ms. Luthor?”

Lena’s expression falls a little, and she shrugs into herself; she seems smaller, much less threatening like this. As if she’s trying not to scare Kara off. (It works, just a small bit.) “I know you’re not human.”

Kara sighs. This… This is new territory for her. She ought to deny; out to make her excuses, and, failing that, run, fighting for her life; fighting for Kal’s.

Yet, she finds herself once again doing the ill advised when it comes to Lena Luthor. The gig is up, and she finds herself rather unable to lie to Lena, nor does particularly feel the desire to do so. “So, how did you figure it… me out?”

Lena pauses for a second, tilting her head in contemplation. “Well first, I work with an organization that… works with extraterrestrial life forms. One piece of training done is how to recognize nonhuman languages versus human ones. It’s not flawless, since there are many extraterrestrial languages that can pass as reasonably human. And it’s not like we learn every human language that exists, though we do try to make sure everyone speaks at least one or two obscure languages. But it works well enough. However, something else really gave it away. The fact that you weren’t speaking Kazakh just cued me in. Want to know what basically confirmed it for me?”

“What?”

“You called yourself a Kazakh, but also said that you’re Russian descended. You need to keep that distinction clearer in your mind. Sure, it may be true, but it’s… rather unlikely.”

Kara removes her glasses and sets them down on the table. “So… what is to be done about me?”

Kara expects many reactions; armed men to arrest her, further questions about Kal, or maybe about herself. What she doesn’t expect is for Lena reaches her hand out, offering it as a comfort, only a few inches away from Kara. Kara doesn’t take it.

(She wonders why she wants to.)

Undeterred, Lena speaks. “I’m not going to lock you away or anything like that. Nor do I have any interest in really telling anyone outside of the people I am required to as part of my job. Cat Grant will never know, not from me. Instead, what I’m offering you is this; a spot at the table. You come in with me, we get you acquainted with some other extraterrestrials around, and if you want, we can set you up with some work from us. You don’t have to say yes, but I do have to warn you…” Lena grimaces a little, “ _certain_ people who work for the organization don’t take kindly to extraterrestrials who don’t allow themselves to be… observed at least a little. And there’s not much I can do about it. So, what do you say? Take your time to think about it.”

Kara doesn’t need to think about it. While she trusts Lena (an irrational amount, honestly), she needs to go in. She needs to see what these people could do. She needs to know how to protect Kal. If the price is her freedom, then so be it. “I will go in with you. I can not promise anything more, but I will do it.”

Lena beams brightly, but for the first time it weighs heavily on Kara, rather than makes her feel light. “Let’s get to it then, Ms. Zor-El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Love ya!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet (most) of the rest of the cast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is late; it got delayed.
> 
> A reminder that any dialogue in _italics_ is in Kryptoniou

Kara is unsure, exactly, of where Lena is taking her. All Kara can tell is that they’ve been driving for twenty minutes and nothing’s caught her attention yet. Lena’s been letting Kara sit in silence, shooting her small smiles; Kara wonders if they’re supposed to reassure her.

(They do, slightly. But she can’t break the notion hanging heavily above her, that she’s marching to her end; and that Kal… Kal will be left alone in the world.)

(Her ears pick up Kal, still in school, heart beating steadily alongside Carter’s, every now and then spiking in a familiar way. It’s… comforting. She has no idea what awaits her and to hear Kal… so… so normal is all that grounds her in the moment. Perhaps… perhaps… no matter what happens, perhaps she hasn’t failed.)

Kara hasn’t realized how far she had sunk into thought until Lena breaks the silence tentatively, voice soft and uncertain. “Is… Is there any etiquette I’m supposed to follow while talking to you? It’s just that… I don’t want to offend you.”

Kara turns to meet Lena’s gaze, while waving her hand dismissively. A spike of irritability shoots through her spine at the reminder of what is long lost. “You would not be able to. Your languages are… incomplete. Your words… your words are so lacking, so simple. How do you even manage to get anything said?” She expects a defensive retort, or a frown, or _some_ sign of displeasure. So the gleam in Lena’s eyes, the fascination as if Kara had not just insulted her entire culture and her entire species, surprises her.

(It reminds her of her father, when he discussed his work. Guilt suddenly overwhelms the irritation.)

Kara suddenly feels compelled to… apologize in some way. “If you show me courtesy and decency, then you will be fine.” She tries to smile, in the same way that Lena does. To comfort and assuage.

(It feels fake. As if she knows the basics but not how to put the intent behind it. Kara supposes that’s true. She’s never mastered the art of being _human_.)

(Lena returns her smile anyway.)

“That’s good to know. But if there’s anything, anything at all…” She trails off, letting Kara fill in the blank.

Kara nods. “I will make sure to tell you.” She smiles again.

(This one feels more genuine, as they lapse into a comfortable silence.)

* * *

They’ve finally stopped, a full hour and a half since they left Lena’s office. They’re no longer in National City; no longer near any real signs of human activity. All that Kara’s x-ray vision reveal is a road and desert. However, Lena steps out when the car stops and beckons her, so Kara guesses they’re at their destination.

What she is not expecting is that they’ve parked in the middle of an actual facility; with small buildings dotting the landscape; and a few quite near her. Kara tries to take a quick look inside one, only to find that she sees… nothing. It’s as if her sight just goes through it. Kara tries to mask her surprise. 

(Lena’s slight smirk suggests that she isn’t quite successful.)

Lena gestures at the buildings around her. “Welcome, Ms. Zor-El, to joint DEO-Cadmus operations. Come on.” She starts walking toward one of the buildings in the distance; or at least heading directly in a direction.

“DEO-Cadmus?” Kara finds herself asking while she follows Lena’s lead… again.

(It feels like a recurring theme in their relationship.)

“Well there’s the short version and the long version. But we don’t have time for the long version, so the short version will have to do. DEO-Cadmus is the organization I work with.”

“Not for?”

Lena laughs. “No, I’m something much more of a… consultant and ally. Also a useful alibi.”

“I… I am very confused. What does that mean?”

 

Kara can hear the smirk in Lena’s voice. “That’s part of the long version darling.” She stops in front of a building and swipes a card through the reader, and Kara picks up

When she steps in, Kara feels the urge to run away. Everything about the building screams… _wrongness_ to her. Yet she steps inside, trying to figure out _why_. It’s only when Lena’s guided her through a couple of turns and door; needing to, several times, adjust Kara when she ends up trying to walk in the wrong direction in her preoccupation.

The building is so… so quiet. Lena’s heartbeat beats loudly in her ears, but everything else sounds muted. She knows that there must be other people here; that this is an organization where people work, and yet she can’t hear anyone else.

Lena seems not to notice Kara’s distress. Instead, when Kara walks straight past yet _another_ turn, she grasps Kara’s hand in hers. “We can’t have you getting lost now, darling. Not before we get you to Xenobiology and into our system at least. And we’re almost there. In fact!” She gestures to a door right in front of the both of them. “Go through there. They already know you’ll be coming. I’ll be waiting for you just outside.” Kara nods; pushing through the door and stepping through.

* * *

The room she enters feels so much like a medical office (from what she’s seen the handful of times she’s been in on Earth); with bright lights, a table, presumably for examination, and everything smelling so… sterile. There’s a redheaded woman hunched in a chair in the center of the room, scribbling… something on a piece of paper. She gestures to a seat, and while Kara moves to sit down, the woman begins to talk.

“I’m Agent Danvers, the DEO’s Chief Xenobiology Officer. Ms. Luthor told me she’d be escorting you here. Now, I need your name for the record; if you can romanize it for us, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Kara Zor-El.”

“Species?”

“Kryptonian.” Agent Danvers sighs softly under her breath, and Kara can’t help herself from following up. “What… What is the issue?”

“Oh, huh. Interesting.” Agent Danvers jots some more notes on the paper, content not to answer Kara’s question. Kara fidgets in the silence for a few moments.

A new voice pipes up from behind her. “Marital status?” Kara turns her head, shocking at the short woman standing in front of her, in what appeared to be.

(Just how much did this place dampen her powers after all? She hadn’t even heard her walking in.)

Agent Danvers sighs; far more audibly this time. “Major Lane, please do not… flirt with interview subjects.”

“Only for you, Alex.”

“I’m so glad that you’ll stop flirting when your girlfriend asks you to.”

Major Lane goes to… Alex (apparently) and wraps her in a hug. “Aww, is that jealousy I hear in your voice babe?”

Kara finds herself smiling involuntarily while Agent Danvers rolls her eyes; the bickering so familiar and the small movements as Agent Danvers relaxes into the embrace. It’s… It’s nice.

Major Lane turns to Kara, looking her up and down, assessing her. “Are you the reason that the Pretty Luthor is sitting outside staring intently at the door?”

Agent Danvers snorts. “Is she really doing that?”

Major Lane quickly grins at Agent Danvers. “She looks like a lovesick puppy.” She turns back to Kara. “Anyway, are you?”

“Lena did bring me here, yes.” Kara fiddles with her glasses for a second.

Agent Danvers speaks up again. “Lena, huh?” The matching smiles on both women’s faces unnerves Kara a little.

“Well, is that not her name?”

“Ooh, _someone_ is probably going to have something to say about it.” They’re both laughing now, and Kara feels extremely confused.

(She suddenly wishes to see Lena, in the hope that she can clear up this mess.)

(She’s fairly certain, though, that her hope would be in vain.)

* * *

After several more questions, ranging from dietary restrictions (none, of course) to astronomy (Kara does know the English name of each constellation, but decides not to state which stars she had been to), Agent Danvers finally lets Kara leave.

Lena looks up at the door opening, her lips curling into a… striking smile. “Finally. I imagine you met Major Lane in there.”

Kara nods, feeling another involuntary smile reach her lips.

(She has really been smiling a lot over the last two days. She doesn’t know what warrants it.) 

“Yes, I did. It was an… interesting experience.”

Lena stands, and casually proffers a hand to Kara. After a moment, Kara takes the offered hand, and Lena starts leading away. (It is as smooth and warm as she remembers.)

“Her and Agent Danvers in the same room can be a little too much; anyway, Major Lane is the DEO’s Legal Head. Now we’re going to meet the others.” She pauses. “Well not Agent Vasquez. She’s… well doing something, I’m not really sure what. But you’ll get to meet Director Henshaw, as well as the other two Luthors.”

“There are more of you?” Kara’s voice sounds genuinely confused.

Lena laughs, full bodied and genuine (despite her dampered hearing, she can hear the muscles contracting in her stomach and diaphragm, can see the crinkle form on the bridge of her nose and her eyes crinkle). “Yes, darling. There are more of us.”

* * *

Director Henshaw turns out to be an imposing man, emanating presence. Kara’s eyes are drawn to him instantly, as she… she… she recognizes something in his stance. Something so so familiar, yet she can’t… she can’t pinpoint what it is.

The woman he’s talking to, however, is far less prominent. She has a severe face and seems to be muttering angrily at him, yet Kara can’t quite organize these details in her mind; as if there’s some piece missing before she can finally see the whole. 

Lena had dropped Kara’s hand as soon as they entered the room ( Kara instantly misses the warmth), and approaches the two. Kara follows a few paces behind, unsure if there’s any protocol. “Director Henshaw, Lillian.”

The woman turns and her face softens oh so little, but it’s there. Her tone, however, is cutting. “Oh, my prodigal daughter has graced us with her presence.” 

Lena tenses, her smile slipping a little, but her voice is calm, albeit a little less cheerful, when she speaks. “Yes, well, I figured that, since I have to be here to do paperwork on the issue anyway, I might as well bring Ms. Zor-El here along and get her started as well. We’re just making the rounds. Kara,” Lena gestures toward her, and Kara steps up, “this is Director Henshaw, who is the Director the DEO,” Director Henshaw nods his head in acknowledgement, “and Lillian Luthor, who’s the Lead Researcher on Project Cadmus.” Lillian just… observes Kara.

(Kara desperately doesn’t want to be in her sights any longer. She feels as if her every secret will just suddenly pour out without her even speaking.)

After a moment Kara realizes that they’re all looking at her, and she feels the need to “Director Henshaw, Mrs. Luthor, I am Kara Zor-El.” Kara reaches her hand out, to shake it. The two just regard it without taking it, and Kara drops her hand after a moment, clearing her throat.

Lillian breaks the silence that descended. “Yes, well, now you can be on your way. If you haven’t already, go see Agent Schott. You might even be able to see Lex while you’re there. Now, if I may have a word with my daughter.” It’s less asking permission and more a command. Lena frowns, jaw tensing further, but doesn’t say anything; instead nodding sharply. Lillian, taking this as end of the conversation, walks away, and Lena follows along.

Director Henshaw continues to watch Kara silently. Kara meets his gaze, unflinching.

(It’s so much easier, when there’s only one person. She can hold her own in one on one conversations; she is the last daughter of the Honourable House of El, after all. If he’s sizing her up, she will not be stared down.)

“Ms. Zor-El, if you walk down the hallway behind you, make the first two lefts and then the second right, the next right and the fourth right, you’ll see a door labelled ‘Winning Tech’. That’s where you’ll find Agent Schott.”

That… definitely wasn’t what she was expecting. “Oh, umm, thanks Director Henshaw. I will… umm… I will see you later?”

He doesn’t say anything, but turns and leaves. She guesses that’s her cue to do the same.

(It briefly occurs to her that she’s been given a lot of latitude just now; with no one guiding her or showing her. She could do so many different things; many which would probably be disapproved of. She wonders why no one seems to care that much.)

* * *

Kara is lost. She hates to admit it, but she’s lost. Now, she oughtn’t be lost. She never gets lost. With the building refusing to be x-rayable, however, she can’t use the little tricks she’s so used to.

(She couldn’t discover the room Director Henshaw sent her toward, and then work out the most efficient path to it. It’s… disconcerting, to not know where she’s heading.)

So, instead of finding a door with a sign saying “Winning Tech”, she finds herself wandering down a long row of doors, each with a little slot at the top; they seem to stretch on to infinity.

(Every now and then, she sees… movement on the other side of a slot. It doesn’t take too long for her to come to conclusions.)

(She wonders if she’ll end up behind one of these doors.)

She’s passed about a hundred of such doors, before she… _hears_ someone. “Ah, you look like the daughter.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.”

“That… That is…” Kara stutters, completely lost.

“No, it’s not in the pride of the House of El, is it? To ask for excuse.” Their voice shifts suddenly. _”I beg forgiveness from the child of the Great, Powerful and Honourable House of El for the great disservice I have done you.”_ The sarcasm is obvious despite the thick accent; their accent sounds almost… almost… Daxamite? A former slave, perhaps?

(Kara does not, absolutely does not, think about the language they are speaking. Its use is taunting, broken. Kara is certainly not _shocked_ to hear the tongue spoken to her.)

(She has no idea, then, how to explain the tears frozen behind her eyes, the nausea roiling in her stomach. It’s not a byproduct of shock, it’s not.)

Before she can respond, before she’s even sure she’ll be able to respond, another a hand touches her shoulder. “Ms. Zor-El, it seems you’re lost. Do you need me to guide you to Agent Schott’s office?” She spins to find Director Henshaw just behind her. “And you,” he touches the door from which the voice came from, “stop trying to mess with everyone who walks by.”

Stubbornness flares inside Kara, the demand to learn more, but she tamps it down; it is clear she is not supposed to be there, and she’d rather not give anyone a reason to put her behind one of the doors. So she just nods, and lets Director Henshaw guide her away.

The voice echos behind them. “The child of the House of El is here! Oh what fun, what fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo I honestly really super intended for us to get through all the character introductions in this chapter, but apparently nope! We've got like a quarter of a chapter left of that. Then we'll pick up some Kal and Carter and maybe get an actual plot rolling. >.>
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to come yell at me either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> N.B.: I will be traveling between the 13th and the 20th. I hope to have a chapter ready to go so I just have to publish when I can, but I can't guarantee when that'll be. However, come the 25th, we ought to be back on schedule once a week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finishes her rounds at the DEO-Cadmus Project and... discovers something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! It's been a while. Sorry, I spent all of last week traveling, and this week classes start up again, so it's been a bit hectic, and once again I have no idea how good this chapter is. However! I'm hoping to have another chapter of this up later this week. I hope that can make up for my... absence.
> 
> Also reminder: all dialogue in _italics_ is in Kryptoniou.

Agent Schott’s office is a _mess_. And not in the way that it would be if he were constantly inventing in his office. There aren’t bits of incomplete projects scattered around, nor random equipment or tools or spare parts; sure there is some of that, but not much. No, instead there’s… junk. Open wrappers, loose papers, magazines and newspapers strewn across every available surface. 

The room is centered around several computers, each surrounded with its own plethora of more junk. 

(Kara remembers the first time she encountered a “modern” human computer. It had taken her only a few moments of watching someone use one to figure it out, yet she hates them. Kryptonian computers… they immerse you, making them almost an extension of self. It’s so frustrating, having to do so much manual input for human computers to even begin making them understand.)

Noises toward the back of the room grab Kara’s attention, and a man standing in a pile of papers that he just dropped, clearly shocked regarding… something about Kara.

“Oh, um, h-hi, yeah, um, they didn’t tell me that, well they did tell me but they didn’t tell me about… you.”

“Excuse me, Agent Schott?”

He rushes over to the computers, waving his hand dismissively. “Oh, please, call me Winn, since, well that’s my name! Winn Schott Jr. at your service!” As he sits down at a chair, he flashes Kara a brief smile. “Well, it’s sort of my name. It’s… It’s the name I go by? The name I was given at birth was Winnslow, but I’m… well I’m not a fan. Anyway, have a seat, have a seat.” He gestures to the chair next to him, before stopping mid-gesture. “Unless… that’s considered rude? I know literally nothing about you, which should be obvious, and I don’t want to be rude or upset you and have you try to… well… destroy humanity. Not saying that you could, or couldn’t, or will or would, but you know. I’d hate to be the cause of our… my species’ untimely end. And I’ll just… shut up now.”

Kara smiles gently, somehow slightly endeared by this rambling man. “No, Winn, it is not rude to offer me or any of my species a seat. Thank you.” She follows a cleared path to the seat Winn offered, and sits.

(If she slightly floats to avoid disturbing any of the mess, well, no one needs to know.)

Winn turns to his computer and starts tapping away at the keyboard. “Now, let’s set up your new “human” life, okay?”

Kara shakes her head, more to herself than the overly focused human next to her. “Oh, I… already have one.”

“Well, sure, lots of nonhumans who can pass as human have set up some kind of human identity, but we can make it better. What’s your name? For your human records. Though it would be nice to know your actual name, if you want to tell me.”

Kara just smiles a little to herself before responding. “Kara Zor-El. For both.”

* * *

An hour later and Winn looks like he’s about to cry. “You… hacked each of Earth’s most powerful intelligence agencies just to insert a history of insignificant phone calls, just… just in case?”

Kara nods her head. “Well… yes. Kara Zor-El has to have a history. Was that… a… bad thing to do? It was not too difficult, so…”

Winn… Winn seems to break at that question. “Was that… a bad thing to do? I just… Was that a bad thing to do? It wasn’t too difficult? I don’t know how I feel about that. About… everything around this. You just… this is simultaneously the most impressive and yet heart rending thing I’ve ever learned. You, Kara Zor-El, are… I don’t even have the words.” Kara just chuckles. 

“Well, clearly we’ve done everything we can here. Or rather, you did everything I could do and more, before you even walked in here. So who haven’t you met with yet?”

“Ummm… Lex Luthor? Maybe some others, but if there are, no one told me their names.”

Winn brightens up at the “Ooh! The golden boy. He was here recently, actually. I… think he said he was going to pop down into Storage for a bit. Not hard to find, and you should meet the resident genius at some point.” He hurriedly scribbles some directions onto a piece of paper and passes it to Kara. “That’s the way to Storage. And hey,” he gives her a genuine smile. “You, frankly, are the most impressive person to ever walk through those doors; just simply… wow.” He pauses for a second. “Don’t tell Lex that I said that.”

Kara ducks her head, unsure how to respond. “Thank you, Winn. I… I will be on my way then.” With a short nod, she leaves, sensing his eyes watching her the whole time she’s in sight; but instead of feeling paranoid or slightly bemused and disgusted, she feels… admired.

(She wonders if this place is so bad, after all. It has Winn and Major Lane. And Lena.)

(Kara doesn’t wonder about the little pause she places between Major Lane and Lena.)

* * *

Storage reminds Kara of Winn’s office; just more junk piled up inefficiently.

(She supposes that she can’t blame them too much; perhaps they don’t know that L’lingian batteries are dimensionally foldable.)

(That, however, definitely doesn’t excuse their absolute careless mixture of Skathean and Eltoir metals; both would be rendered near useless now.)

However, while Winn’s office is only a handful of paces across, Storage stretches out and twists around many corners. If anyone is here, she has no idea how to find them.

After aimlessly wandering the halls of storage for several minutes, distant, clicking footsteps draw her attention, and she tries to hone in on them, tries to figure out how to reach them, but it’s a fairly fruitless task. Each time she feels as if she’s discovered a direction, the sound suddenly starts up from the opposite way.

(She wonders, again, why her senses are so limited in these buildings; why she can’t access the full extent of her vision or hearing. She wonders what, exactly, are these buildings made of; and if it’s not in the material, then what?)

Therefore, it’s only more aimless wandering that she happens upon a person; it’s not the Luthor she was initially searching for, but Kara can’t find herself that bothered when she sees Lena kneeling in front of some boxes, clearly searching through them.

“Oh! Lena! Hi!”

Lena turns over her shoulder and smiles softly, eyes crinkling in the corner. “Well, if it isn’t Ms. Zor-El. Everything sorted out with Agent Schott?” 

Kara nods. “That is what he told me; he told me that Lex might be here, and everyone keeps on telling me to meet with him, so…” Kara trails off; she doesn’t quite know why everyone wants her to meet Lex. It’s just something that she ought to do. But in this moment, she doesn’t really want to leave Lena’s side. 

Lena closes the box she was looking through and stands, stretching her arms out in front of her. “Your poor luck then. Lex just left and I have no idea where he went, but it’s late enough that he might have headed… well somewhere where he can rest.” Lena gestures her head toward Kara. “That being the case, want to explore here a little with me?” Kara just nods again, and Lena smiles brightly.

* * *

Kara loses track of time while she explores Storage with Lena, just listening to Lena discuss each item she finds interesting.

(While some of her theories are wildly off base, Kara can’t help but get caught up in small gleam in Lena’s eyes each time she begins to talk, or how her hands gesture become wider and speed up the longer she talks. It’s… nice. The closest she’s come to having a human friend before is Cat, but this… Lena is different. There has always been a degree of separation with Cat, being her assistant and their mutual relationship with Carter. It hasn’t been like that with Lena so far. So while Lena’s not her friend, not yet, maybe...)

“And now, I’ve got something really really cool to show you.” Lena’s stopped in front of a closed door, fingers already typing the passcode into the numberpad, and suddenly Kara sees...

Behind the door, when it slides open, is something that Kara never thought she’d see again; _her_ pod. The door isn’t there, of course, and the past thirteen years haven’t been kind to it particularly (not to mention the little pieces of it that seem to be missing, as if someone had carefully chiselled them away). Wires and cords snake out of the pod, disappearing into the walls.

Kara knows her face isn’t controlled, her breathing erratic, but she can’t find in herself the reason to care. A wave of nausea crashes over her. “Where did you get this?”

Lena looks slightly shocked by the anger lacing Kara’s voce, eyes wide and confusion painting her face. “We, well, we found it, and what seemed to be a companion one, about thirteen years ago now? While it looks like a piloted ship, we couldn’t make much in the way of understanding it, beyond some surface observations.” Each word drives Kara further into an anger that she finds more and more difficult to contain. Memories of… of… _silence_ fill her every sense, the quiet murmur of nothingness and sleep forcing their way to the surface.

(Memories she tries to only live at night with, memories that regularly swallowed her for the first several years of her life on Earth.)

(Memories, if she’s being honest, that still swallow her up with some frequency.)

(During her worst moments, she wonders if the memories aren’t memories at all, and that this is just a dream; those are the moments that she listens to Kal’s heartbeat most carefully, memorizing the pattern and flutter of it.)

“So we shelved both of them, and every now and then try to figure out some more when we make a breakthrough elsewhere. Each time we learn a little more.” Lena catches Kara’s gaze for a moment and the shock intensifies triple fold. “Are you… Are you okay Kara? Do you… do you recognize this?”

There… There Kara breaks. _“It’s not yours! You cannot poke and prod at it, do as you please with it! That… A life… I slept in there, for so long. You have no idea what you are doing. You have no idea what you have damaged! I… even I don’t know what you have done!”_ While Kara yells, Lena stands stock still, until that final yell. Kara can hear Lena’s heartbeat shouting “run, run, run, run, run”, yet she doesn’t.

Instead, she reaches out and touches Kara’s shoulder gently. Kara tenses and then relaxes into it, feeling her anger seep from her.

(Feels Lena’s warmth even in that single touch; even through her clothes.)

(Lena should have been frightened, should have panicked at the sudden turnaround in Kara. But… she didn’t.)

“Kara, I don’t know what you just said. You didn’t speak a language I recognized. But that’s not important right now. What is, is what can I do for you?”

“I… I just want to go home.”

Lena nods. “Okay, let’s get you home.”

As they head out of the base and Kara murmurs her address to Lena, as they ride to her house in silence, Kara never bothers to correct Lena; that Lena can never take Kara home; no one can.

(The only thing left of home is the steady heartbeat she focuses on; far in the distance, yet coming ever nearer.)

* * *

As soon as she arrives back at her house, Kara flings the door open rushes inside and sees Kal, sitting patiently on the couch. His face softens as soon as he sees her and his heartbeat speeds up. Her arms reach around Kal, pulling him flush against her, fingers squeezing as tight as she can, and he returns the gesture; a soft trill passing between the two of them, his repeated whispered utterances of “ieiu”. Briefly, Kara realizes that she returned less than an hour before the deadline she gave Kal. It takes Kara several moments to bring herself to speak.

 _“All is well, us-kah. Just… I…_ She takes a deep breath, pulling back a little to look Kal in the eyes, before continuing. _“It has been a long day for me, us-kah. And while I… you deserve to know, I hope you understand that I need to rest before telling you. But, do not worry, we are not in any… immediate danger.”_

__A throat is cleared behind her, and Kara turns her head; Lena stands on the precipice of the doorway, taking in the scene. When Kara meets her gaze, she turns away, pink dusting her cheeks. She, instead, begins rocking on her heels, and her heart thunders in Kara’s ears._ _

__Kara stands, touching Kal gently on the shoulder, guiding him to her side. “Lena, this is Kal-El, my… he is… he is family. Kal-El, this is Lena Luthor. She…” Every possible way to describe Lena fails Kara in that moment; the human being in front of her defying Kara’s ability to explain. Winn’s statement earlier, about not having the words suddenly makes sense to Kara. She doesn’t have the words; not about Lena._ _

__In the end, she decides for simplicity. “She brought me back. She is nice.” Kara’s certain that Lena’s heart skips a beat, and she frowns; is Lena okay? There doesn’t seem to be anything obviously wrong with Lena from a quick glance, and her expression is one of careful neutrality. “Thank you for bringing me here.”_ _

__“You’re very welcome Kara, it’s… it was nice, to talk to you… more officially. But... “ Lena pauses, standing at the door, her hand gently touching the frame, as if she wants to enter but doesn’t wish to ask permission, her bottom lip suddenly being caught between her teeth. “I’m sorry, if this could wait I would have, but I need to talk to you about… Kal-El.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come yell at me about literally anything on Tumblr @alienbeegenders! It would be great and make me happy! Even if it's hate mail! Unless you want it to make me sad, at which point I'll say that it makes me really really sad.
> 
> Also, next first part of the next chapter will be the end of the serious bit for now. Afterwards we'll get some more gay shenanigans!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More conversing! Tea drinking! Gay things!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look it's 4:30 in the morning where I am, I don't mean to be awake but there is a very very loud party outside my building that's been going on all night and now I can't make my body go back to sleep and I'm too old for this shit and so here have a gaylien chapter thanks to my involuntary awakeness. and typing this has taken far longer than it should because I should not be awake right now.
> 
> (Don't worry the chapter was already finished for the most part before now. I'm just not doing my final round of edits before posting it.)

“I’m sorry, if this could wait I would have, but I need to talk to you about… Kal-El.”

Kara freezes, her hand tightening imperceptibly on Kal’s shoulder as she steps forward slightly, her smile dropping. “What about Kal-El?”

Lena glances between the two, her eyes widening slightly before her jaw clenches, and then, after another moment, relaxes. “Look, can we have this discussion without Kal-El? You are, at the very least, passing him off as a child and I’d rather not talk about some of the things we have to talk about in front of someone I see as a child.”

Kara… Kara laughs and relaxes; she can’t help it. If this is what has Lena nervous, it’s probably nowhere near as bad as she imagines. So, Kara steps to one side to let Lena enter the house, gesturing vaguely toward the couch. “I could send him to his room, if it would make you feel more comfortable. However he would still be able to hear us if he wanted, is that not right Kal?” She smiles briefly at him and he just nods in return. “Anyway if it is about mating, there is no reason to be shy about it. We both have an extensive knowledge of sex.”

Lena blushes, as she enters the house, closing the door quietly behind her. “E-excuse me?”

Kara nods, trying hard to keep the teasing note out of her voice. “Yes. When we both came to Earth, we both had extensive cultural programming built in to our…” She pauses, a memory of earlier intruding itself. “We learned so much about Earth culture on our journey here. And since so much of your culture revolves around mating, it featured heavily in our education.”

“Ieiu!” Kal’s eyes are fixed on Kara, wide. She’s sure that he would be blushing if he could.

“Quiet down now, Kal. I guess I should send you to your room.” Except Kara’s laughing now, little breathy puffs of air, and she doesn’t sound much like a threat at all.

Lena’s eyes, on the other hand, light up. “What else did this programming tell you? Did it go into our history? Our biology? How did you gather that information? How certain were you that the information wasn’t skewed? How--” she stops herself, her lips pursing and her cheeks bulging oh so ever slightly as she swallows the words that she spoke and _oh_ Kara’s not sure she’s ever seen a human look more endearing. 

Lena exhales, eyes closing gently. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away. I know I can be… overwhelming some time. But we do have some things to discuss, and if for my sake only, would you mind sending Kal-El to his room? It might seem silly to you, but it would make me feel more comfortable.”

Kara looks down, nodding at Kal. _“I know I tease, us’kah, but could you go to your room and please do your best not to listen in? I’d rather keep our guest comfortable.”_

Kal’s eyes steel and he opens his mouth slightly, with what looks like a protest on the tip of his tongue, before Kara preempts him with a shake of her head. _“Not tonight Kal. Please.”_ After a brief staredown, he steps back and walks toward his room. 

Before he disappears from sight, he looks over his shoulder. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena smiles in response. “It was nice meeting you too, Kal-El.” Then a door clicks close behind him, and it’s just Lena and Kara standing in silence.

“My… father was a scientist.” It’s… not what Kara meant to say; she had meant to offer Lena a drink, meant to offer her a seat, told her to make herself comfortable. But it’s out there and she swallows quietly, as Lena just looks at her with quiet interest. So Kara takes a breath and starts over, her eyes never managing to meet Lena, but always watching from the corner of her eye. “My father was a scientist. Or at least father is the closest word in English. A wonderful father and a genius scientist. And he would… his face…” Kara closes her eyes briefly, images of Zor-El laughing, right next to _je.ju_ , flitting through her mind. She swallows them down. “The face you were making… it reminds me of him. You do not need to apologize for being excited or interested. Not to me. It brings… pleasant memories.”

She finally has a moment to look Lena in the eye, but she instead looks at how Lena’s lips are slightly parted and the lipstick on them is worn from a long day, and how her body relaxes, or how her hand is reaching out slowly toward Kara’s arm or her shoulder or her neck or hre face and she’s not sure when Lena got so close, or how her legs are shaking, oh so slightly, from standing so straight in her heels and--

“Oh Rao, I am so sorry!” Lena freezes for a second she retreats, moving away from Kara without having to take step. “Go, take off your heels and make yourself comfortable. Have a seat on the couch. I will make some tea. Or coffee. Or just get you a drink, if you want. Or some food.”

Lena smiles at Kara, taking off her heels with a soft sigh, and putting them by the door.

(Lena’s heel does add a few inches to her height, and now she’s a few inches shorter than Kara. Kara’s suddenly very glad that Lena did take her up on her suggestion.)

But instead of going to the couch, she follows Kara into the kitchen. “Some tea would be lovely, thank you.”

“I only have black, if that would be a problem.”

“Sounds perfect. One sugar and a little dash milk if you have it, please.”

“What does the phrase ‘one sugar’ even mean? One granule of sugar? One teaspoon? A tablespoon? A cup? I just end up using the teaspoon since it seems the one to make most sense?”

Lena laughs, her words soft around them. “I thought your travel to Earth filled you in on all the necessary cultural information.”

“Yes, well, I may have exaggerated somewhat.” 

Lena laughs again, slightly less restrained than the previous one; her breath catching in an almost snort, and Kara can’t help but join her. “Then for the sake of my tea, I’ll specify one teaspoon of sugar.”

They settle into a comfortable silence, standing near each other as Kara goes through the motions of preparing tea; it’s a practice that relaxes her, drawing all of her focus into the single task. She understands why humans ritualize it, as if there’s something special in sharing it with someone else.

(She wonders what’s special about sharing it with Lena, yet the answer feels obvious, in some way. It’s sharing it with Lena, someone she’s getting to know and yet she enjoys so much.)

The kettle slowly comes to a boil, and at the first sign of the shrill whistle (her least favourite part of the whole experience), Kara’s already moving to fill the mugs. As she pours the tea, she turns to Lena. “I guess we ought to talk about what we need to talk about?”

Lena deflates but nods. “Yes we should. The short version is… I haven’t told anyone about Kal-El yet.”

Kara frowns, out of surprise rather than being upset. “Why not?”

Lena hmmms. “It’s protocol to get what we call ‘reasonable suspicion’ before we register anyone in the system and/or approach them. And…” Lena trails off.

“Yes?” Kara’s hands run through the process of making tea automatically; checking the temperature, preparing the milk and sugar, and so on.

Lena flushes slightly. “And, I may have sort of avoided protocol with you by approaching you before registering you in the system? If I were to listen to… Lillian, I’d have far more than reasonable suspicion to mention both of you, but I decided against it. I… I wasn’t sure if Kal-El is… was? is? That’s confusing.” Lena laughs. “Anyways, I didn’t feel comfortable saying Kal-El is human before you basically confirmed it for me.”

Kara tenses, and she returns her focus on making the tea, as not to break anything. She’s disappointed to discover that her hands have just finished. She reluctantly passes over a mug to Lena, and takes her own to the couch. Kara doesn’t gesture for Lena to sit until she has settled herself in a cool silence, and Lena does much the same.

It’s only when they’ve both sat down that Kara picks up the conversation. “And now you want to put him in your system.”

Lena stares down her mug while she responds. “Not… necessarily. I want to answer a few questions first.”

“Go ahead.”

“Would you say Kal-El is...a child? I don’t know anything about your species rate of aging or culture or any of that, so I don’t mean to be rude, but I honestly do need to know.”

“Yes Kal-El is a child. Or rather a teenager in human terms. My species… we are very different to humans in many ways, but our aging process on our homeworld is similar to humans. And since we have been on Earth for practically his aging process, I would say that our aging process on Earth is similar to your aging process. At least until we are adults.”

Lena sits still for a moment, and Kara could see her mind process what she’s been told. “And… is he your son? Or whatever the equivalent is?”

Kara squirms in her seat at the question; though she’s unsure why she’s unwilling to answer it truthfully to Lena. “I love him as much as I would love a child of mine if Rao had granted me one.”

“That’s not the question Kara.”

Kara huffs. “Why does it matter?”

Lena finally looks at Kara, eyes filled with… something. “Because, if he _is_ your son, you look like you may have twelve or thirteen when he was born and that may be normal on your planet, but here, it’s a… troubling sign.”

And _oh_. Now so many conversations make more sense; now the face that Cat made when she introduced Kal to her for the first time has a name. Now she has a name to part of the emotion Lena just showed her, though there are pieces missing.

(That’s the second oh moment she’s had tonight with Lena. She wonders how many more are in her future.)

“He… is not my son biologically. He is blood; my cousin. But he is a son to me in all but biology.”

Lena nods. “Okay. Okay. Okay.” She takes a deep breath, and Kara can hear it catch in her throat as it makes it way to fill her lungs. “Okay, so I’m not going to register Kal. It would be unfair to him and to you. He’s just a child; no child deserves that.” Lena’s face falls slightly at that, her eyes losing focus in a memory. After a moment, she regains herself.

“But…” she holds up a finger, as if to interrupt words from Kara that aren’t coming, “But, while I have no intention of outing him without your and his permission, it will be a lot easier to keep it private if you do something.”

Kara enthusiastically nods her head. “Whatever you need.”

“Come work for me.” The offer comes out strained, as if it pains Lena to do so. “And by extension, the DEO-Cadmus joint project every now and then. You’d work for me directly, and also help me consult with them. It’ll keep you close enough to DEO-Cadmus that Lillian and the others won’t feel compelled to monitor you, while far enough away to grant you some privacy from them. Of course I’ll make sure you’re paid well enough so you and Kal can live comfily. And, really you will only have to do enough work to keep up appearances.”

Kara smiles; it’s far more than she expected.

(Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, though. It doesn’t fill her up completely. It’s far more than she expected, but a larger cage than expected still has a lock on the door.)

(And well, Earth was already a cage within itself, and it dwarfs her new cage in comparison.)

Kara smiles. “Lena, I accept your job offer.”

* * *

Lena left, soon after Kara had agreed and they had finished their tea and agreed that Kara would come in the day after next to work out the details. Kara herself falls into a mindless trance, watching the sky outside shift from dark blues to blacks sprinkled with bright pinpoints of light back to dark blues with a hint of brightness on the horizon to reds and oranges yellows fading into light blues, when Kal finally comes from his room.

(Kara doesn’t ask if Kal had listened in, and Kal doesn’t supply that information to Kara.)

(Instead Kara describes it with Kal in hushed tones and rough words, not aimed at him but rather at the situation, as Kara thinks to herself _do it for him._ )

(It ends with Kal being sent to school with a long and crushing hug, one that’s returned with gusto.)

(And, if Kara spends her time while he is at school, keeping one ear out on his heart as she goes through the motions of the day, no one can blame her.)

When Kal returns home, the first thing that Kara notices is how his hand is slipped into Carter’s, and Carter, of all people, gripping it back tightly.

And Kara just smiles at them, offers them both some food and drinks and decides that, perhaps for once, there can be a closed door between her and them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send me soothing things over at [Tumblr](http://alienbeegenders.tumblr.com) and/or sympathy please. I have no idea how they're still at it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much happens in this chapter, at least plot wise. Instead get some gay stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, the next few chapters are far more related to building relationships we haven't really seen yet than advancing the plot; so that means, sadly, Lena's appearances are a little thin over the next few chapters, but she's not absent! I KNOW I'm just as sad about it as you guys.
> 
> Ummm... CW: brief mention of an injury; it's not life threatening, but it's not pretty.
> 
> Also yes, for anyone wondering, I did add Kara/Jess in the tags FOR REASONS THAT I MAY HAVE BEEN SITTING ON UNTIL THIS CHAPTER TO PUT IN THE TAGS.
> 
> Guys, SuperCorp is endgame here, but we've got a journey and a half to get there first. And first on our list of romantic complications is basically what I'm using Kara/Jess for.
> 
> (Also Jess is the best and you can fight me if you disagree.)
> 
> Just warning you now that like... we've got a while to go before we get anywhere near culmination on SuperCorp. We'll get gay activity between the two, b/c I'm a mess for gay activity, but like we're not even going to see anyone date anyone for a while now.
> 
> (Except Kal and Carter since those two are already dating even if they don't know it yet.)

In the week that Kara’s worked for Lena, the fact that at least one person knows she isn’t human isn’t the weirdest thing about it.

(It was surprisingly easy, in fact, to get used to that. How she didn’t need to regulate herself as carefully when she’s alone with Lena. How she inserts Kryptoniou words that she can’t quite find the translation for, and all Lena does is nod and moves on. No questions, no judgements.)

(Most important, however, she can say nothing around Lena, and Lena… _understands_.)

No, the most unusual thing is that Kara doesn’t have a job title, while working for a company that she doesn’t even know the name of. She’s not even one hundred percent sure what her job actually is, besides “doing spare tasks if you want to. Also if you have any… insights to share about anything you come across feel perfectly free to do so, but please don’t look at any documentation that says things like ‘classified’ or ‘code word clearance only’, okay?”. Every time she asks after it, Lena flushes somewhat, and hastily changes the subject.

So, like with every question she has about her work that she shouldn’t (or couldn’t) bring up with Lena, Kara turns to Jess. After all, Jess is the only other employee that works in the building. Sure, there are people in and out all the time, yet they rarely repeat themselves, and when they do they’re usually DEO-Cadmus. Jess, on the other hand, is always around. In fact, Kara’s never been in the building when Jess isn’t; she takes lunch in her own office (which seems to be the only time she’s actually in there), and spends most of the day overseeing literally everyone who enters the building, or handling menial paperwork and phone calls.

(No, Lena hasn’t found a new executive assistant, and while Kara excels at such work, the one time she tries to simplify Jess’ “system”, both Lena and Jess spent hours grumbling about how everything changed until Kara changed it back. So Kara made an executive decision to interact with Jess’ filing and life system as little as possible. No one’s complained so far.)

* * *

“Jess?” Kara finds Jess, this time, in the server room, hunching over a table and writing something down.

Jess looks up briefly before returning to her task. “Ms. Zor-El, how is it that you always know where to find me? This is a big building, you know. Did you bug me?”

Kara ignores Jess comment, though makes a mental note to ask… anyone else, later, what bugs have anything to do with what Jess said. “What… exactly… do either of us actually do here? Officially?”

Jess pauses at that, her hand stilling. She looks up at Kara, eyes widened. “You… don’t know what we do here?”

Kara elaborates, trying to avoid Jess thinking too deeply about how Kara doesn’t know something seemingly so basic. “Well, I know you were leaving as Lena’s executive assistant and that now you have a office and do things that are not within the purview of any assistant job I have ever seen before, and I know what I am supposed to do, but my job description was given to me in a rather informal manner so I do not know what my job title actually is, nor do I actually know the name of the company, and every time I ask Lena, she avoids the subject.” 

While Kara talks, Jess’ face makes a… transformative journey, eyes widening and lips opening before, near the very end, bursting into upturned lips, eyes crinkling slightly around their edges, and Kara can hear the very beginnings of a stifled chuckle. Instead of laughing, Jess takes a deep breath, closes her eyes for a second, and reopens them.

“That’s… amazing. She’s still not telling people what the company is called. Well, if you ever want to know, you can ask Ms. Luthor what LLC stands for. Be sure to not take the first answer she provides too. Make sure she tells you what she really thinks it means.” Jess smirks

“As for what I do, Ms. Zor-El, is manage things. Yes, I am no longer officially Ms. Luthor’s executive assistant, but since this building only has three permanent employees, you, me and Ms. Luthor, we fulfill. However, I cannot possibly tell you what your job is, since I haven’t seen your contract.” She pauses for a moment. “But, I could always grab a copy of it to show you.”

Kara nods. “Thank you Jess, I would very much appreciate it. Sorry for taking up so much of your time.” Kara takes a step back, intending to leave, and Jess turns back to whatever work she was doing before. When Kara touches the door, however, Jess clears her throat.

“Kara?”

Kara stops and turns, watching how Jess doesn’t stop scribbling on the piece of paper. “Yes, Jess?”

“It’s lunch time in about twenty minutes and I was wondering if we could go grab coffee and get to know each other better.”

Kara pauses; this is… new territory for her. Back when she worked at CatCo, no one asked her to coffee; not as just a friendly thing. Sure, she’s received… interest from people, yet so few of them wanted to get to _know_ her, no strings attached. Just as a friendly gesture.

(She wonders how much new territory she’s found herself in over the last ten days; and how much she doesn’t regret it, not on the whole.)

(That perhaps, what she’s reached for over the last ten days is something… missing in her life. Something that’s been missing for a long time without her noticing.)

It doesn’t take as much self-convincing as Kara expected for her to agree outloud.

* * *

Coffee with Jess is surprisingly enjoyable; while the conversation revolved mostly around mutual complaints about work, some small details slipped through. It helps that Jess draws easy laughter from Kara.

(Jess, for example, has two brothers. She hasn’t seen the older one in a long time, apparently, and has no intention of seeing him anytime soon. She does see her other brother at least once a month.)

(Kara lets slip how she takes care of Kal, and often Carter. She finds herself using phrases that distance herself from being seen as Kal’s mother; and silently congratulates herself when Jess doesn’t give her The Look.)

Suffice it to say that by the time Kara gets back home (she often heads out twenty minutes before Kal finishes school, to be home for him), she’s in a good mood.

A good mood that lasts right up until Kal comes home, goes to his room without even a hello or something to eat, and closes the door, oh so gently.

(And for Kal, this is a troubling sign; it’s days like this that he’s too aware of his own powers, that he feels he can’t control them. It’s days like this that she receives a call from the school, telling her that she has to replace a book, or a globe or something he accidentally broke.)

Kara doesn’t know what to do; experience has taught her that there’s no right solution. Talking about it too early with Kal leads to raised voices and sighed words. Waiting, however, and Kal stews, letting whatever doubts worry away at him until it’s added to the background of his life.

(Kara remembers when Kal once started sobbing to himself in his room, his fingers clenching into his palm, leaving small white crescent moons. It was only a few weeks after his strength first appeared. He sobbed and sobbed, muttering seemingly incoherent nonsense to himself, as all Kara could do was hold him, trill to him, and wait it out. Eventually he started screaming, about how fragile everything is, about how is he going to not break the people he loves.)

(It’s only later, when she takes the time to remember, to parse the muttering that she realizes it wasn’t incoherent nor nonsense. It was a list; she recognized some as broken and damaged items that suddenly started appearing. The rest she hadn’t heard of, nor did they own any of the items listed.)

(The next day, she redoubled her efforts to teach him how to control his strength.)

She tunes her ear, listening to him; she hears the bed springs groan, and she can imagine him laying on his bed. Yet she hears no tears, no wracked sobs. Just his steady heartbeat; too fast to be asleep. She feels lost; unsure of how best to help him.

She leaves him be.

* * *

Two hours later, the tense peace that permeates the house is broken by three sudden, gentle, knocks on the door. Kara hadn’t even heard anyone approach the house. But as soon as she starts listening, starts paying attention to the world outside of Kal’s quiet, the heartbeat that plays in her ear is so familiar to her; one that she doesn’t even notice most of the time.

So she tosses the door open, staring at the face of Carter, steadily meeting her gaze. “Ms. Zor-El. Is… Kal available?”

She opens her mouth to respond, to tell him to give her a moment to find out, but then her eyes see… it. A few dark, ugly bruises, shaped like a hand, stretch out against his wrist. From the way that he’s not clutching it in pain, Kara supposes that it’s been a while and he’s not in imminent danger. The fact that Cat let him be here is almost proof of that. And yet…

“What happened to your wrist, Carter?” He blushes slightly and pulls down his sleeve, refusing to answer. So Kara tries again. “Are you okay Carter? Do you need any medical attention?” He just shakes his head, but does not elaborate.

Kara sighs, and steps to one side. “Come in Carter. I guess you can show yourself to Kal’s room; you know the way.” She hears his steps retreat, hears how he knocks softly on Kal’s door and whispers. Hears how the door opens quickly and closes after Carter steps in. She tries not to listen in, but it’s difficult.

She can hear the cadence of the murmurs; enough to know it’s going… at least not horribly wrong. She can hear their respective heartbeats speed up and slow down at points. Hear how each of them shift softly while sitting.

She doesn’t hear the words, but she hears everything else. It is difficult to leave people to their privacy under such conditions. So Kara… Kara does something she hasn’t done in a while.

She looks at the stars.

* * *

Looking at the stars from the ground feels so different from looking at them from above the clouds. Once she flies high enough, the background light and noise of Earth dulls to a low hum, and the night sky, littered with thousand of stars and the worlds she knows are there, stretches out above her. She can even see the first of the satellites, spinning through space.

Her eyes gaze, as always, anywhere but a small section of stars; she found them once, but spent days, after carrying on in a daze. It was too much to know that one light… one light was missing. That she has no idea where it veered off to in the last nearly forty years. That she’s never going to know, not truly, where it is. Even the best astronomers on Krypton only mapped 

(She doesn’t think about how it’s been nearly 29 ahmzeht since she left Krypton; it’s easier, somehow, to think of Krypton in Earth measurements, as if it’s slightly less real.)

(Also thinking that she’s 27 years old in Earth terms is easier than reconciling the fact that she’s 27 Earth years old, and she’s also 19 :zehtol, and also 51 Earth years old and nearly 37 :zehtol. She doesn’t know which she is; which ones count. Perhaps she’s 14 years old plus nearly 10 :zehtol plus however one wants to count those long years; she’s not even sure, these days, which measurement she counted those 24 in. It’s… It’s too complicated for her.)

Even up here, however, she’s attuned to Kal’s heart. It’s follows the same pattern as always, the little murmur, nothing to worry about, coming in between every 18th and 19th heartbeat. How it skips like it does each time Carter comes closer to him. How it steadies out when their fingers wrap together, only to be replaced by a new rhythm; one that beats steadily yet quickly. She can see, without being there.

So she drifts amongst the stars, listening to two sleeping heartbeats, wrapped close together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on [Tumblr!](alienbeegenders.tumblr.com) Or yell at me in the comments! Or do whatever you want! It's your life and I can't make you do anything!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> ahmzeht : A Kryptonian year. (Which, just doing simple math, comes out to just about 506.5 Earth days.)
> 
> :zehtol : Years young. (Which is contrasted from :zehkhai, which means years old; basically, if someone is relatively young on Krypton, you use :zehtol, to indicate their youthfulness. If they're relatively old, you use :zehkhai, to indicate their experience. If used inappropriately, these could be an insult.)
> 
> I could have translated the numbers but I felt it would be slightly easier on you guys if I didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kal and Carter are gay. Kara gets to spend some quality time with Agent Danvers. Some sad stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm... I don't think I have anything to put up here? But also I'm not 100% sober right now because I make bad life decisions; but to be fair to me I survived the storm so hi all I think I have some right to celebrate.
> 
> The chapter was written sober though! I'm sorry for the beginning. The middle. And the end.
> 
> (I'm not actually sorry about any of it.)

When Kal and Carter sit side by side at the table while Kara makes pancakes, she’s not surprised. She almost doesn’t realize it; the action so natural between the two of them, and her own head… elsewhere that it takes her two looks to confirm that it is, indeed, unusual.

(She tries to push out the nightmares; the voice in the dark with their broken, accented words. Her pod being ripped open, and someone… someone grabbing her, pushing her…)

(Nightmares of her forgetting, forgetting why today of all days is important, of… of… her losing her way in the dark, again, thrice punished.)

(She’s not very successful.)

And the night before is still so… so… raw. she just… observes them. Listens to their breaths, shallow and calm. Listens to them as she silently tries to run through the morning ministrations for Rao, for His memory. For all of their memory.

(She frowns slightly every time she finds herself at a loss on what to say.)

(Even if the daily prayers weren’t slipping through the cracks; even if she didn’t struggle to remember one or another every now and then; nothing in what she remembers, nothing in any of the texts she read when she was a child, tells her what she’s supposed to do to pray for a dead god. Or at least, a lost one.)

She hears their clothes, softly rubbing against each other, as she looks out upon the golden sun of this odd world, and presents her morning meal to it; lets the light touch the edge of the pancakes, almost cooked in the pan, in blessing.

She can smell the sleep on them, the quiet way it droops their eyes, as she takes a deep breath, and lays out the pancakes in the center of the table. She makes a note to burn some incense later; to clear the air slightly. To make it smell clean and pleasing to Rao, in case His light can reach her.

She can see the soft smiles they shoot one another, as she opens her mouth, to finally address them, ask about how they slept when… 

She opens her mouth when her phone buzzes with a text.

**Cat:** _Having breakfast with Lois. I know Carter is with you. I expect him to be at school on time._

Kara doesn’t bother responding to the message, instead turning to the two, who have just begun putting food on their plates. “Carter, that was your mother; she is having breakfast with Lois Lane. Do you need to be in school early today for any reason?” She knows the answer is no, knows Carter’s schedule like she knows his heartbeat, but she asks anyway. She’s never got accustomed to how much one ought to know about nonfamily.

(She wonders if Carter can still be considered “nonfamily” at this point. Certainly by now, the House of El would be considering adopting the Grants as their own. After all, the Grants would merely be a minor house, despite Cat’s stature, and it’s custom, when general consensus believes the Matrix will match two individuals to start a… trial run. Where, legally, they are not of joined houses, but everyone acts like they are.)

(Kara remembers how the House of El, and Alura In-Ze in particular, had begun acting like the House of Kor were destined to be joined with theirs; all because of her close relationship with Lana Va-Kor. She remembers Astra’s words; spoken to je.ju, while Kara hid behind a couch, sneakily listening in. _“Strong possibility of a match there.”_ )

(It’s only later that she realizes that Astra’s voice was tinged with amusement; the one she ~~uses~~ used when she ~~knows~~ knew that Kara was listening in. That she was encouraging Kara’s… affections.) 

(And Kara has to believe that Kal has a match here, on Earth. That _Rao_ wouldn’t steer them wrong. Not in this. Her ship may have sailed with the death of… everyone; everyone that she could have conceivably been matched with. That she will always be of one House and one House only. But Kal… Kal can, and will, have better.)

Carter shakes his head, smile still plastered on his face. “I don’t get why she meets so regularly with Lois; she’s always so… grumpy after them. But, no, I don’t have to go into school early; Kal and I can walk together, isn’t that right?”

Kal nods, before returning his attention to his pancakes, chocolate and syrup smeared on his face. Kara simply laughs at him.

_”Kal, we both know you need the calories, but, even though we aren’t human we still don’t get them via osmosis. Your food has to actually enter your mouth. Also it isn’t attractive, even if he’s spent the night with you.”_

Kal lowers his head, and whines out a “Ieeeeiuuuu!” Yet he still does grab a napkin and wipe his face, which Kara counts as a victory.

Carter just continues on eating, quickly and quietly; Kara almost doesn’t notice that his food is gone. Then both of them are done, packing up and slipping out the door together, leaving Kara on her own.

(The last thing she sees, when the two walk out the door, is Kal’s hand held loosely around Carter’s bruised one. Pale fingers standing out amongst darkened skin. It’s… striking, to say the least.)

* * *

Today is, as Lena told her, a DEO-Cadmus day. Which means that Kara has to allow Lena to escort her to the base, and sit around while her ears ring from the… pure lack of noise. And worse, today is also a _Lillian_ Day. Which means that Kara can’t just sort of vaguely stand around Lena until it’s time to leave.

(Well she could, but Lillian… Lillian always gives her a little glare that Kara intensely dislikes, and often Lillian takes Lena to places that Kara’s not allowed.)

And so, Kara’s standing around… awkwardly, hoping that no-one notices her. Since that first day, Kara’s restrained herself from wandering around, hoping not to feel the shock of stumbling across another thing she’s never expected again.

(She wonders what’s still left in her pod; wonders how many of the people behind those doors speak Kryptoniou. She wonders how deeply she has to dig before she finds another thing that disturbs her; that distracts from her sleep at night.)

(She wonders… how long before she can no longer tell herself to stay?)

So she’s steadily working out where, exactly, to stand so she doesn’t seem like she’s trying to be unobserved while… not being observed, when a voice pipes up from behind her.

“Hey, where’s Your Luthor?”

And just like that, Major Lane is standing right next to her; the woman does have an annoying habit of sneaking up on her.

Kara shrugs, honestly. “I do not know.”

“Hmm… Aren’t you… always by her side? I thought you two were… a package deal. Attached at the hip, as it were.” Lucy’s tone (and entire face, really) is… suggestive, but of what Kara can’t really say.

(She can guess, of course, that it has to do something with sex, because humans around her only use that tone when talking about sex, but any deeper meaning… is lost on her.)

“No, not always. And right now, she is discussing something with Lillian, which apparently I do not need to know.”

And suddenly Lucy’s face shifts into one of understanding; the amusement and mirth falls away, but what exactly Lucy’s understanding is… again, lost on her. “Well, I can’t just let her alien gal pal stand here all day, bored out of her mind. Sadly, I have to be somewhere in... “ She glances down quickly at the watch on her wrist, “fifteen minutes, but I have an idea. Come on, follow me.”

And, without much protest, Kara does. (After all, this woman… she’s in the military; part of this secret… government agency. Actually, is it a government agency? Are the DEO and Project Cadmus two different things? She makes a note to ask… someone. She doesn’t know who yet, probably Lena, but someone.)

(Anyway, the short version is that Kara’s seen E.T. She knows it isn’t real, but the thought of the powers-that-be getting their hands on her? Not everyone in government is as just or kind as je.ju; Zod certainly wasn’t.)

* * *

Agent Danvers has never been the warmest toward Kara. She’s not… hostile. Just reserved, and probably guarded against Kara. Kara, for her part, sees no reason to spend time with Agent Danvers unless necessary.

So when Major Lane pushes Kara into Agent Danvers’ office, blows her (Agent Danvers, not Kara) a kiss, and mentions something about having “lunch reservations and you two better play nice, because Alex, if you do so we can play dirty later”, winks, before disappearing out the door, and leaving the two alone. The room is as sterile as it was when Kara was last in it; as unfriendly, the discomfort sitting heavily in her bones.

They regard each other in silence for a few moments before Kara stiffly nods, finding herself unable to figure out even where to stand, let alone what to do. “Agent Danvers.”

“Ms. Zor-El.”

“Kara. Please, call me Kara.” Kara’s comment is quick. 

(Her comment is instinctive, defensive. Today, of all days, she doesn’t want to hear her last name, her _father’s_ name on clumsy human tongues which can’t properly pronounce it.)

“Kara, then.” They lapse into an uneasy silence, which seems to grow between them. Kara finds her eyes flitting around the room, trying to figure out how to break the ice, or just… not feel so awkward; Agent Danvers is obviously very aware of her presence, her body, though seated and tapping away at a computer, always subtly turned toward Kara, her hands always loosely held away from her, as if to move in a moment’s notice.

(Kara is no expert in combat, but she spent enough time with Astra to recognize a bipedal soldier’s stance, even when prone.)

Finally, the silence weighs too heavily on Kara.

(The fact that neither of them are speaking. The muted noises that surround her. How she hasn’t heard a sound she considers “normal” in oh so very long.)

So Kara speaks. “Can you explain to me what, exactly, DEO-Cadmus is? Are the DEO and Cadmus two separate… entities?”

Agent Danvers looks at her, a look in her eye that Kara has never seen before; not in Agent Danvers and not in anyone else. Kara certainly can’t describe it. All she can see is that Agent Danvers hand keeps tensing and relaxing, her eyes And yet, she doesn’t respond with much. “It’s complicated.”

Kara scoffs; as if someone from the House of El would ever have difficulty understanding complicated webs of relationships. “Try me.” She softens her face, takes a breath. That’s not the way to put any human at ease. “I am… I am just so confused, as it is. Plus learning about it would be a good way to pass the time, no?”

Kara can see the moment when Agent Danvers decides to tell her, how her face softens, her eyes gleam with the pure desire to explain, and her hands unclench fully.

(And if, _oh_ , that doesn’t remind her of je.ju, when Kara asked her about her reasoning; gearing up to explain something to Kara that she knows inside and out. The passion to teach; that’s what she sees in Agent Danvers.)

“Okay, so here’s how this works, in theory. The DEO is a government agency which deals with extraterrestrials. We were, about fifteen years ago, headed by Hank Henshaw. At the time, a mission went south, people were… things got bad. So Hank retired afterwards. Ended up starting something called Project Cadmus; a private company that did a lot of contract work for the DEO. About five years ago, around the time I joined, he came back to be the Director of the DEO; I don’t know why, so don’t ask. Part of that was Project Cadmus becoming semi-official partners of the DEO. In short, Cadmus people get governmental clearance, and are at the government's disposal. However, they get to leave… really whenever they want; as long as they don’t violate any of the NDA’s we gave them. So, right now we’re the Joint DEO-Cadmus Project. But I’m not someone from Cadmus, while none of the Luthor’s are DEO.”

Kara hmms. “And where does Lena fit in all of this?”

Alex gestures vaguely towards the ceiling. “She’s… her business is a front; it’s the public face to a lot of Project Cadmus activities that can be tracked. When Cadmus, for example, needs two hundred tons of steel for whatever reason, her company is the one that officially buys it. Does that cover everything?”

Kara shrugs, unsure if there’s anything she’s missing. But it’s enough. “That… is enough for now, I suppose. You would know if anything were missing, not I.”

Agent Danvers just nods, as if Kara had made some kind of profound insight, and not something blatantly obvious. “Well, I guess that’s true.” She then smiles at Kara. “Anyway, that about sums it up. Now, I do have some questions about you… if you don’t mind me asking.”

Kara… Kara ends up shaking her head.

(She can’t be poked and prodded; not today. She can’t forget that she’s an extraterrestrial in an organization devoted to monitoring extraterrestrials. Not today.) 

“Some other day. But… not right now.”

It’s when Agent Danvers gives Kara a little nod of her head, in acknowledgement, that Kara thinks that, maybe, her and Alex might just end up getting along alright after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm again hi! You read the words I put on paper! Yay!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara ends up grabbing lunch with Lucy and Alex; we finally learn what's so special about "today", and Jess makes an appearance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a remarkably hard chapter to write. I had to spend a lot of time filling it out; mostly because what happens next chapter is big and exciting and the chapter after that even more so but this chapter? This chapter is mostly filler; important (imo) character moments but nothing moving the story really forward.
> 
> On that note, a reminder that any dialogue in italics is in Kryptoniou.

When Major Lane opens the door and pops her head in, Kara had just beaten Alex in the third straight game of poker, much to Alex’s chagrin.

(The first two rounds Kara had spent learning the rules and the deck, but after that, it was a simple matter of learning Alex’s tells and running the probability in her head. The fact that she has currently undisclosed x-ray vision isn’t cheating; not if she doesn’t use it to look beyond that first time.)

(To be fair to Kara, though, Alex hadn’t explained that not know what’s in other people’s hands is sort of the point.)

“Lunch, babe?”

Alex looks up and gives Major Lane a smile. “In a moment. Just got to finish up here.” She begins shuffling the cards, one last time, before folding them away and tossing it on her desk. “All done.” Then she brings Major Lane into a hug; Kara watches as both of their faces soften, slightly, tense muscles easing away with the contact. They break away after a moment, but their relaxed posture remains. 

Major Lane turns to Kara, question already on her pursed lips. “Ms. Zor-El?” Kara faintly shudders as, once more, a human says her name _wrong_. "Would you like to get lunch with us? Your Luthor is going to be here a while longer; I checked. We could even take you back to LLC, if you want. Ms. Luthor said something along the lines that she’s sorry but what she brought you in here today for has to be put off.”

Kara frowns slightly, confused. “LLC?”

“The place that you work at?”

“So it does have a name! And that is the name! I thought Jess was being all… mysterious about that.”

Major Lane barks out a laugh. “What, Ms. Luthor not tell you?”

“No, she did not.”

“Just like her. So… dramatic, that one. Anyway, lunch. Yes or no?”

Kara pauses; the inside of her bottom lip catching between her teeth. After all, this… this would be a different step. Being with Alex, at the base when she had nowhere else to go and was surrounded by DEO-Cadmus people at all times. Being out there, meant subjecting more and more of her own life to their eyes. On the other hand, what would she do if she were to remain here? Would it seem more suspicious to their eyes? Would someone else, someone far less easy to throw off, look after her? Were these two as easily thrown off as she thinks?

(Which option would lead them to be least likely to find out about Kal?)

Kara, in the end, nods.

* * *

They find themselves at Noonan’s, and Kara breathes an imperceptible sigh of relief. At least it’s somewhere she knows… well enough not to have to learn a new environment. She can, therefore, pay attention to how Major Lane and Alex talk; what surprises her is how much they try to include her. Such as Alex talking about her job to Kara while Major Lane has disappeared for a second coffee; as if it is the most normal thing in the world to do.

(Kara supposes it might be. How would she know otherwise?)

“You’d be surprised how boring it is to Chief Xenobiology Officer. I don’t usually do the initial updates and evaluations, so it mostly comes down to synthesizing reports and looking at broader patterns.”

Kara’s face falls slightly, as this new information doesn’t slot in nicely with the rest. “Then… why was… why did you…”

“Why did I do the initial evaluation with you? Because of your good friend, Lena Luthor.”

Kara’s face morphs into a full blown frown. “What?”

Alex takes a sip of her own drink, “Yeah. For whatever reason, she really insisted on only letting the higher ups interact with you, as if you were some top secret that was only on a need to know basis; I still don’t get why. I mean, we don’t know anything about your species yet, but so far we haven’t seen anything completely unusual; though a blood sample might be nice.”

Kara blanches, back becoming stiffer instantly. “S-sorry, but a blood sample…”

“What, squeamish?”

(Kara might, in fact, be a bit squeamish. Anyone might be, when they haven’t seen their own blood in so very long. And squeamish sounds a lot better than her own reasons, so she grasps onto the option with both hands, tightly.)

“Yes.” Alex shakes her head, though a small smile plays on her lips.

“Well, you might just have to get over that. We’ll need to run some tests, probably. But not today, don’t worry.” At that moment, Major Lane returns with her drink, and the conversation flows from there.

It’s as they nearly are finished, coffee cups almost drained and places with only a handful of bites left on it sit in front of them, that Major Lane turns to address Kara directly. “How many languages do you speak anyway?”

“E-excuse me?”

“Well, we know you speak Kazakh, because that’s all in Lena Luthor’s… _highly classified_ report, and her and Alex, here, are competing to see who can learn the most languages out of everyone at DEO-Cadmus. They’re both at 15.”

“No, I’m at 17 and she’s at 12; don’t let her “dead languages are real languages” bullshit argument count.”

“Then by that measure, babe, you’re at 14. Didn’t you count Latin and Ancient Greek, as well sometimes Klingon because ‘Making fun of Winn totally counts’?”

“No. I counted other languages. Definitely.”

“Oh, which one?”

Kara decides to interject here. “I fluently speak 5,329 extant languages here on Earth. If ‘dead languages’ don’t count.”

Major Lane grows wide-eyed. “I-I didn’t even know there were that many languages here.”

Alex’s eyes also grows wide-eyed, but their hearts are speaking different tones; Major Lane’s beats steadily, her body not responding much to this new information. Alex’s… Alex’s races, excited by this new knowledge. “And other languages?”

“Depends on how you count it. At maximum I speak 214 extraterrestrial languages, and at a minimum 37.”

(She tries not to think about the fact that over a hundred of those may be dead; how many of those were built around Krypton.)

(She tries to ignore the empty, gnawing pang deep within her.)

(The fact that she grows silent and can’t bring herself to even open her mouth speaks volumes.)

Her phone beeps, breaking her reverie, and both Alex’s and Major Lane’s silent conversation; Kal had texted her, letting her know that he and Carter were going to spend the day with Cat. Kara can’t bring herself to question it too deeply.

(Neither does she question the fact that Alex and Lucy gently steer the topic away from languages and how many she can speak.)

When they drop Kara back at the office, they both smile at her, and Kara returns the smile. It’s… something.

* * *

Even as the day goes on, knowing that Kal won’t be at their home causes Kara to hesitate, staying at the office later than she usually would. She can’t bring herself to lose herself in the familiar environment.

(Not on this day, of all days.)

So as sunset nears, and Kara finds herself staring out the window, unsure how to do what’s necessary. Unsure if she should even do it. It’s her first _Kandar Raq Vo_ on Earth.

(Sort of; it’s really impossible to choose the exact day. Another thing that doesn’t neatly line up. After all, celebrating when _Rao_ aligns to set the world ablaze, shining His light so brightly and fiercely because He sits in the exact position to block Krypton from Vohc’s most terrible creation, doesn’t make sense when Krypton has already been set ablaze. It doesn’t make sense to celebrate how the purple grass would glow, almost translucent, at sunset under His light, when no more purple grass lays ready to receive it. The Northern sky no longer dances with a thousand lights for there is no more North or South or East or West or any direction. There’s… nothing.)

(But Kara… Kara does what she can. Or… will do what she can. She estimated what day on Earth the next _Kandar Raq Vo_ would be on. She did the morning rituals, though they hardly change from day to day. It’s the one approaching, the rituals as the sun sets; the only time this sun looks anything like Him.)

(She’s unsure what to do.)

The sky has turned a deep gold, and the shadows grow long. Low footsteps grow louder and closer.

(She’s been tracking them for a while; she can tell Jess has been searching for her, from the way it stops and backtracks and moves erratically through the building. Kara decided against shortening her journey; there’s no reason for her to have to hurry with that.)

“I found a copy of your contract; which was surprisingly difficult.” Kara nods her thanks and takes the file from Jess’ hand. But instead of leaving, Jess lingers. “You’re here late. For you, anyway.”

Kara shrugs her shoulders. “I do not have to be anywhere in particular at this moment. I might as well do some more work to ease things up.”

Jess’ eyes wander over the folders that are stacked, closed, near Kara, an eyebrow raising. Kara, for her part, steels her face to wear one that dares a challenge; demands that Jess question her.

Jess doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead she sits down on the table next to Kara, watching her. She glances significantly toward the folder. “Well, are we about to find out what Kara Zor-El’s actual job is or not?”

“You did not look?”

Jess rolls her eyes. “Of course I didn’t look. That’s the only way I could even get this; it would break all kinds of confidentiality agreements if I did.” She smirks. “But, if you gave me permission…”

“Then you could look at this.” Kara waves the folder a little.

“You said it, not me.”

“Well… Why not?” Kara opens the folder and looks inside. She looks at the first words on the paper, and-- 

“Christ, the language on this is about several times more complex than the one on mine.” Jess points to a paragraph three quarters down the first page. “Does this part even make sense?”

A quick glance, and Kara has to agree; the density of language here has to have been needless. She saw her fair share of contracts when working for CatCo; and while the nature of this job would obviously necessitate different levels, with near nonstop mentions of recursive relations to itself.

(In other words, it’s perfect; anyone who looked would only know that Kara Zor-El had a job at LLC, and nothing else, however they would have the impression of said contract to be detailing a highly complicated job. One would have to look very closely to realize it is meaningless. Kara didn’t know whether to hug Lena or laugh at her over-preparedness. Probably both.)

Jess hums to herself. “Well that’s a strike out. I guess your job remains a mystery for a little longer. Back to the drawing board it is then.” Jess then stands, placing a hand familiarly on Kara’s shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”

As Jess opens the door, Kara speaks up. “Jess?”

“Yes, Ms. Zor-El?”

“Thanks. And, please, call me Kara.” Kara hopes that it conveys all that she’s thankful for.

(Not just for finding this information and bringing it to her; but for even caring in the first place. Thinking that Kara, of all people, is worth it; whether by virtue of simply existing, or because Jess thinks fondly enough of Kara. Kara finds she doesn’t mind either way.)

“It’s no problem. Kara.” Jess leaves, and the door closes behind her.

Kara turns to look out the window once more, mentally mapping where each thing needs to go in order to properly celebrate _Kandar Raq Vo_. After all, she has about… 37 minutes left until sunset.

* * *

As the sun sets, Kara finds herself sitting between two candles, lit match in hand, as she bends over the one to her left. She murmurs, words barely catching her own ears.

_”Blessed are You, Rao, who has granted us light, and keeps us in life and in death._

_“Blessed are You, Rao, who saw the People and bound us to Your will._

_“On this day, of all days, we bless You, Rao.”_

With that she has lit both candles, and turns to face the window once more, watching the sun drain from the sky.

(It’s not enough to feel Rao; nothing ever will be. But it’s enough to quiet the voices, demanding that she do… something; it’s inadequate, yet )

Once the last of the light fades into dark, Kara whispers once more.

_”Rao, please take care of them. I am sorry we were such poor keepers of Your Jewel, but I beg you, please.”_

It is another two hours before Kara moves again, the candles still burning in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear: _Kandar Raq Vo_ is made up. The prayer is made up. The ceremony is made up. Only a handful of details about Rao and Krypton isn't made up (at least by me; someone somewhere probably made it up).
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr and we'll have a good time! Possibly!
> 
> See you next time (probably Sunday).
> 
> Edit: I wasn't fully accurate when I said that the prayer was made up. What I meant was that the prayer is not a real prayer anywhere in canon (as far as I know). However it is based on the Jewish prayer for the lighting of the candles. Since Raoism is basically Space Polytheistic Judaism and you can fight my gay Jewish ass about it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat Grant and Lena Luthor separately decide to drop in to visit Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a bit. About a week. But I'm back! Hi! I wrote things that aren't of this fandom! It was weird but good for my soul, methinks. I actually wrote a chapter longer than 4,000 words! Not here; this is your usual 2,000+ word chapter. But elsewhere.
> 
> ... There isn't much to say about this chapter here and now.
> 
> ........ I love writing Cat Grant. There we go. High quality commentary.

It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday morning that Cat Grant, all 5 feet and 5 inches of her (plus the three inches that her heels are currently adding; presumably to make her just that slightly taller than Kara, who answers the door in bare feet) enters Kara’s home for the first time.

(Kara casts her mind back, fruitlessly. There has to be a time or reason for her to have come in; Carter’s been here enough for it. But Kara knows that, of course Cat Grant hasn’t ever come in. Why would she? She’s _Cat Grant_ ; a former assistant’s home is definitely not the kind of place that Cat would willingly enter.)

She shuffles Kal and Carter in behind her, and waves them away (a dismissal they eagerly take, rushing to Kal’s room, as quietly as two teens rapid steps can be).

Kara stands, eyes watching Cat, as her mind runs through, once again, the Cat Grant Playbook.

(The situation is too bizarre for her to get a really good read on it. She’s never been in such a position before, has never observed Cat Grant in such a position. She doesn’t know, can’t know, what to do.)

In the end, she starts with a… neutral move; one unlikely to move the needle too much. “Ms. Grant. Shall I make you a coffee?”

Cat sighs, moving toward the kitchen as if she’s been here a hundred times. “You might as well, even though your effort to bribe me out of my anger won’t work.”

As the words catch up with her, Kara’s automatically moving to the coffee machine, determining what combination of beans and ingredients would Cat prefer the most. “W-what?”

Kara pours the coffee beans into the grinder as she waits for Cat to clarify. 

(It’s the quietest grinder she could get her hands on; the first time she ever heard a coffee grinder go off, she screwed her eyes shut and clamped her hands over her ears. She had been on Earth for only two weeks, glassesless and trying, oh so hard, to find out _where_ she can get baby supplies from on the planet.) 

(There’s a reason why she’s not fond of coffee.) 

It’s once the ground beans go into the filter that Cat speaks up; presumably in no mood to talk over the noise otherwise. “Why did I have to hear from Carter that you now work for Lena Luthor?”

Kara shrugs, unsure why this is important. “Should I have told you? I thought you knew I would; you are the one who set us up.”

Cat rolls her eyes with a huff. “Oh Kiera. I did set you up, and you somehow swung and missed.”

Great; a metaphor. One that she only gets because Earth sports fascinate her. Why would anyone swing sticks at balls like that? Why are the systems of play so rigid in some aspects, but not in others. It’s unlike any of the sports or games she remembers playing on Krypton, which were either free-form, mostly played with those destined for the Arts Guild, or structured absolutely, with some creativity but there’s always an optimal move. Those are the games Kara plays, late at night. 

(She hasn’t seen a _rekov_ board in ages, but she has the pseudo one, the one she carved from wood that’s missing the metal spires since no metal on this planet can faithfully recreate it. Yet she still moves her _tanoffon_ as according to the rules, as according to the optimal play she cracked before her tenth _threvzeht_ , even though the pieces are made from melted Monopoly pieces, molded to look like a _tanoffon_ , though it doesn’t roll smoothly like one.)

(Kal’s never quite understood the appeal.)

Even then, Cat seems to imply of that Kara failed an easy task; but she’s seen people play baseball. For a human connecting the wooden stick with the ball when thrown isn’t an easy task.

So it’s not like Kara isn’t actually confused when she asks Cat. “Excuse me, Ms. Grant?”

“Never mind Kiera; I still wonder why you didn’t tell me that you got the job.”

Kara pours. “I--I did not know it was important.”

“Kiera, if I honestly thought that you’d be taking the job, I’d have offered the one that… Eleanor?” Cat pauses, as if she doesn’t actually remember her assistant’s name.

(Kara _knows_ Cat knows; that she just enjoys this game of getting corrected and still getting it wrong. Kara’s found it much better to just let Cat have her moment, instead of challenging her too much.)

“Eve, Ms. Grant.”

“Well, Kara, Eve has nothing on you.” A moment passes, as Kara shifts, watching the coffee drip slowly into the pot.

(The moment feels fragile, tense; it’s the most honest moment she’s spent with Cat. The admission that she actually thinks highly of Kara.)

And then Cat shrugs, clearly the moment over. “Also, how can I ensure that someone can look after Carter properly.”

Kara smiles. “Do not worry about that Ms. Grant. I have fairly flexible hours. Plus, I think Eve is doing a wonderful job as your assistant.”

The coffee machine beeps, and Kara pours the coffee, busying herself with preparing it for Cat.

(A little sweeter than Cat asks for, since Cat secretly prefers it that way. Still as strongly caffeinated as possible. Still with reduced, not no-fat, milk. But never tell anyone about any of it; if asked, it’s a black coffee, bitter. Maybe, if someone sees the cream, rather than dark brown, colour, say it’s with no-fat.)

(She can feel Cat’s eyes watching her, and she feels a burgeoning curiosity. Why has Cat decided to… invade… no, invite herself into Kara’s home? Simply to interrogate her about her new job?)

When she presents Cat with her filled cup, Cat takes the time to sit and drink her coffee, slowly.

(Cat is quiet, her eyes flitting around the room but always eventually returning to settle on Kara. She can’t help but remember Lena, and her tea, chatting with Kara amicably. And, no matter how much she admires Cat Grant, Kara can’t help but think that she prefers Lena’s company. It’s more free-flowing; the time passes quickly and more enjoyably.)

When Cat leaves, she stops at the doorway and catches Kara’s eye. “You… You look good Kiera. I’m glad that you’re out in the world, doing… things. They’ll be great things in the future; I just know it.” With a nod, she leaves; and Kara’s left standing at the doorway, as confused as she was when Cat entered through the door.

It couldn’t be just to check up on Kara, could it?

* * *

When, in the late afternoon, Kara Danvers receives another knock on the door, she wonders when she became such the social butterfly.

(She doesn’t really understand the phrase, social butterfly either. She’s seen butterflies; they don’t seem to be particularly social or misanthropic. Mispsychropic? Or did she misidentify the root?)

(She supposes it might have to do something with their wings, whether in the way they flutter or how delicately painted they are. Yet why that would be a shorthand for sociability, she doesn’t know.)

(Of course, this is ignoring the fact that she’s been at her home all day, ears only half-heartedly paying attention to two teenagers who have been all over the home that day; bouncing from one place to another.)

When she opens the door, she’s greeted by none other than Lena, with a small smile on her face, shuffling slightly in her heels. “Hello Kara.”

Kara steps to one side, waving Lena in. “Lena! Hi!” Lena takes the implicit invitation and steps inside.

“You don’t mind if I take my heels off, do you?” It strikes Kara at that moment, confirmation that the accent is very clearly Irish. 

(She’s suspected, of course, but Lena seems to take time to hide it. Covers it up with an affected Mid-Atlantic accent. It slips through, every now and then. But never like this; as if she doesn’t care whether Kara hears her native accent.)

(She wonders if she can narrow down the accent to a particular region.)

“Of course not. Tea?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Kara’s already in the kitchen, going through the ritual once more. Lena’s behind her; sitting at the table. “So what brings you here?”

There’s a note of… amusement in Lena’s voice. “Two things. First, why is it that I received a phone call from Cat Grant of all people, telling me that, and I quote ‘should properly recognize Kiera’s talents because she can’t be allowed to languish in some assistant role, even though she’ll do it because she’s just that self-sacrificing?’”

“I… do not know.” Kara keeps her eyes locked on the kettle, hoping she doesn’t sound as if she knows anything about it. “And the second thing?”

“When were you going to tell me you speak over 5,000 languages?”

Kara shrugs. “I did not know it was relevant information.”

Lena laughs at that. “I don’t know; it seems fairly relevant to me.”

“Is that really why you came here?”

Lena sighs.

(It’s not like Cat’s sighs, which are long-suffering, as if she’s the only one with any intelligence in the room. No, it’s… sad. Avoidant; she doesn’t want to talk about it, but knows she has to.)

“Monday, we need to go to the base, and avoid Lillian at all costs. Not,” she rushes out, as if she’s thought of some implication to her words that Kara hasn’t, “because she has any… plans or anything regarding you. Not that I know of, anyway. But because she’ll drag me away and try to dissuade me when I know you’re the best person to ask about it.”

“What about?”

“Well, I think it wo--” The kettle whistles, at that moment, and Kara picks it up, pouring the boiling water.

(Some splashes onto her wrists, she can feel the wet trail leading down her arm. Nothing about Lena changes, however; not her heartbeat nor her breath. So Kara doesn’t pretend it hurts.) 

Lena starts over once Kara sets the kettle down and sits across from Lena, waiting. “I think it would be best to show you.” Lena’s eyes soften while her body tenses, neck and back sitting up straighter, her expression screaming insecurity. “Is… Is that okay?”

Kara just nods, and Lena’s body relaxes into a smile. “So, now that I know you’re bosom buddies with Cat Grant and can speak an absurd number of languages, what other secrets do you have locked away Kara?”

Kara shrugs. “Oh, you know. Some here and there. What about yourself?”

(Her fingers are clenching underneath the table, and she can feel how easily she could tear the world apart. The unnatural heat behind her eyes builds slightly before residing; yet it never truly goes away. Every sense is active in a pure moment. Those are her secrets.)

Lena doesn’t notice Kara’s reaction, or at least doesn’t comment on it. Instead she laughs out a “same”, and the conversation moves on.

* * *

Lena leaves after nearly two hours.

(They spend most of their time talking about languages; Lena tries to convince Kara that dead languages totally count in her and Alex’s competition, while Kara demonstrates a few phrases in Kryptoniou. She doesn’t translate, but Lena’s eyes glow anyway when she hears it. When Lena says she must go, Kara almost wishes she hadn’t. Still, it’s for the best. It’s… too easy, when Lena’s around. Too easy to forget the truth of the situation.)

It’s in the evening that Kara notices a rapid rapping sound; not on the door, but inside. 

(She can hear hearts thundering in Kal’s room, unfamiliar. Tension rises within her, confusion and fear battling for her attention. She had almost forgotten about Kal and Carter; lost track of them while she chatted with Lena. So she acts; without a second thought, tossing Kal’s door open, it barely hanging onto its hinges. And it’s quite the sight she’s greeted with.)

What Kara sees is as follows:

A messed up bed, sheets undone. Books littering the floor. The TV she gave to Kal on, with the sound low.

Oh, and finally:

She sees Kal and Carter, on Kal’s bed, lips pressed against one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEAH that happened; the first of the dramatic cliffhangers that you can look forward to for the next few chapters.
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr! Or don't! I'm @alienbeegenders! Or, perhaps, right? Yell at me in the comments! 
> 
> Rekov and Tanoffon are made up. They don't correspond to anything. 
> 
> Translations:  
> threvzeht: Kryptonian Name-Day


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kal and Kara have a talk. Lena takes Kara to DEO-Cadmus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: there's a... relatively graphic depiction of a person in pain, so if you need to skip it, it's bound by ***** on both ends. As soon as you see that, you can skip down a bit; right after is basically the succinct summary of what occurred.
> 
> Sorry that this chapter took so long, by the way. But the plot is starting! I've known, for a while, where this is going, but like this is it! The beginning of a real plot that's going to take us all the way to the end of this fic.

Kal’s standing in front of Kara before she can blink. “You can yell at me, but please don’t take it out on Carter.”

Her voice slips into the comfortable Kryptoniou, as her mind focuses on Kal’s rough tone, the way his voice husked when he spoke. (She studiously ignores the uncomfortable way his statement makes her stomach flip.) “What? Why… would I yell at either of you?”

_“Because you’re the one who kept on telling me we’re different from humans; that we don’t have the same thoughts and feelings as them. But all I know is that… I honestly do care about him, Ieiu. I do.”_

_“Oh us’kah.”_ Kara wraps Kal into a tight hug, using all of her strength; hoping he can feel how much she needs him to understand. _“I… I never meant it in that way. Of course you care about him. You could even fall in love on Earth. I’m so sorry that you thought that.”_

_“What did you mean, then, Ieiu?”_

Kara tries to think of an answer; how to explain the nuance of what she said to Kal.

(She tries to figure out what she had meant, if not this.)

(She finds she can’t think of anything to say.)

(She feels Kal tense, his arms wrapping around her tighter, even as he flinches from hers.)

_“What did you mean Ieiu?”_

_“Kal… I--”_ Kara takes a breath. _”Kal, I didn’t mean this. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”_ Kal pulls away from her.

_“We’re the ones who can hurt them! You saw what I did to Carter!”_

Kara tries to put on a soft voice. _“Kal--”_

_“No. You think Carter is going to hurt me, Kara?”_

Kara takes a step back as she feels Kal’s words slap her in the face.

“Um… I guess I should go then.” Two heads whip to face Carter, who freezes in the process of standing, his arm tense against the bed.

Kara tries to keep her voice level as she responds. “No, no Carter, you can stay. I promise.”

(She can hear the tremor, clear as a day in Argo City, where Rao shone His light and red refracted in the windows; the haze of the outdoors hidden.)

Carter pushes himself up and shakes his head. “No. I should be going anyway. It’s late.”

Kara nods with a small smile. “Yes it is. But you, Carter Grant, are welcome here at almost any time.” She wraps him up in a soft hug. “You would be a very welcome addition to the House of El.”

(She thinks she feels Carter hold her slightly harder at that.)

Kal holds Carter’s hand all the way to the door, and on the outside, kissing him lightly on the lips as they part. He doesn’t look at Kara that entire time. Kara doesn’t say anything, just holds her own arms close to her chest, running her fingers over the soft texture of her cardigan.

It’s only once Carter is out of sight (but not earshot; oh no not that, never that) that she tries

“Kal.”

His door is already closed and locked.

_“Kal, we’ll need to talk.”_

He doesn’t respond. Kara goes to bed.

(She counts the number of chips in her ceiling’s paint the same number of times as there are chips in her ceiling’s paint.)

(There are 150 chips in her ceiling’s paint.)

(She runs through the solution of Fermat’s last Theorem. Or, rather, the Kryptonian equivalent.)

(She remembers Rao’s rays waking her in the morning, how she’d turn to them in morning prayer.)

(She remembers Lana Va-Kor’s face, scrunched in a giggle over something trivial; remembers the bloom in her chest when she saw it. Her skin buzzing like she had been laying out in the light, letting it wash over her.)

(She remembers and stares and counts and runs and flutters and turns and thinks.)

(She doesn’t sleep.)

* * *

They don’t talk about it. Kal and Kara don’t exchange more than five words on Sunday, and Kal leaves for school Monday morning without a single word.

So, suffice it to say that Kara’s in a frustrated mood as she and Lena make their way to the DEO-Cadmus base; Kara hopes she’s hiding the tension in her shoulders and the tightness of her jaw well enough.

(She doesn’t think so, from the way that the shine in Lena’s eye diminished, or how she gentles her tone toward Kara.)

Lena’s voice is soft and she doesn’t lean toward Kara as she usually does. “So Kara, what do you know of radiology and radiological markers?”

“Some.”

(She might have felt inclined to explain more; explain how she almost certainly would has a passing understanding of the subject in Kryptoniou, but in English? In this unwieldy world with it’s imprecise measurements? How can she explain that she has no patience or desire to be running the several degrees of translation required for this?)

(She doesn’t explain further.)

Lena stares at her for a moment, waiting for Kara to say more. “Well… for our purposes, radiological markers help us determine mineral composition and origin. Basically, if we find two extraterrestrial objects with similar markers, we hope they have similar origins. After all, the journey to Earth matters as much as origin.”

Kara gives a brief nod.

“Well, I know… you were really upset with the… artefact in Storage, and well…” Lena pauses, lips pursing softly. “We have a couple of items with similar radiological markers, and I was hoping that you could tell me what they are and whether whatever we’re doing with them is okay?”

“You--you want me to… _see_ how you have--” Kara lets the sentence trail off.

(What she doesn’t say is “see how you have bastardized my people’s history, just to satisfy your curiosity?”)

(What she doesn’t say is “see how you have used and abused and injured the last remnants of His people.”)

(What she doesn’t say is _“Rao’s work belongs to Rao; and His people’s work belong to them.”_ )

(What she does is remain silent.)

Lena speaks, her words slow and cautious. “I was… I am… I had hoped to communicate that I wish you’ll tell me if we’re doing anything disrespectful to… anyone or anything.”

“But you do wish to learn about them.” Kara’s words come out as a quiet growl.

“I--It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t hoping to learn more about these objects. But… really, it’s…” Her hand makes a small movement toward Kara before pausing. “There’s one object in particular I _need_ to know if we’re disrespecting. Or doing something wrong with or anything. If, after that, you--want or need to leave, then we’ll go.”

“Fine.” It’s not the answer she wants to give, but she remembers those doors upon doors hiding away in a back corner; the whispered noises of an unknown number of prisoners. She wonders if they’d stick her behind one of them and throw away the key. Or if they’d find some inventive alternate way to trap and keep her.

The rest of the ride passes in silence.

(A relative silence; she can still hear Lena’s heart rate bounce and pound each time she glances over towards Kara. She can hear each shift of her body; can hear the muscles contract and relax, the blood pumping slowly throughout Lena’s body. She can hear her eyelid twitch slightly.)

(She can hear Kal’s heart, out in the distance, thumping slowly and softly. It’s the first his heart’s sounded like that since… since before.)

* * *

Not running into Lillian at the base turns out to be a relatively easy task, at least given the way that they don’t even catch glimpse of neither hair nor hide as they make their way through the winding hallways.

(Lena grasps Kara’s hand; much like on that first day, but this time there’s no gentle pull, no gentle guidance. They walk side by side, Lena only tightening her grip when she needs to make a turn.)

(Kara mentally pauses, her feet working on autopilot; she doesn’t understand the part of her mind that doesn’t want to let go, to pull away, but it’s there. It bubbles conflict in the pit of her stomach and within her very bones.)

But eventually they come to a stop in front of a heavyset door (a quick glance and Kara determines that it’s at least lined with lead) and Lena pulls herself away to stand in front of it, eyes cast toward anywhere but the door or Kara. 

“We’re here. To the most closely held secret of DEO-Cadmus.” Her words come out on a strained laugh. “Inside is how we’ve powered the base for… well for the last decade at least. We… don’t really know what it is though, beyond having a similar radiological marker to the ship in Storage. That’s why…” She pauses and takes a breath. “I’ve been asking Lillian, for a while now, to let me ask extraterrestrials who might know about this… about these objects, since we don’t understand any of them.” Lena’s eyes finally catch Kara’s, and she’s shocked by the intensity in them.

(They shine a green that Kara has never seen before, not on Earth and not on Krypton, nor any other place in the universe she’s been.)

(They shine with determination.)

(Kara is, at the moment, very fond of Lena’s eyes.)

“But… maybe you do.”

Without waiting for a response, Lena pulls open the door and a green light bathes both of their bodies.

*****

Kara feels… her stomach… she opens her mouth to…

Acid eats away at her windpipe, a thousand knives shred her calves and . She can’t… her blood slick in her fingers, on her tongue. She can’t smell anything but

her voice the words catch and tear her throat open and she

each nail raking and she can taste the infection, the bitter creamy taste   
Andbl oodand phleg mandvomitandbile andinfectionandraz orsmixtogether  
shecantseeshecantshecantshecant she cant she cant see the world is blind and deaf and theres only

theres nothing

 

She

here her eyes bulge and pulse and bulge and she canfeel can feel feels can the thincord corded strands snapping and breaking and braking and stopping and theres silence and emptiness and darkness and the sudden slowdownofavelocity the sudden tug tugged alongshe broguht a visitor kals pod spun through space withther and thisisher punishment

if only she didnt hug jejuifonly she didnt insist----------   
Herbody stitches and tears and shreds

she 

shes laid bare under Rao’s life

*****

It’s the worst pain she’s felt since the day she woke up in her pod.

* * *

The next Kara notices, Lena pulls on her wrist, and she’s stumbling behind unquestioningly.

(The door is closed; the green, a similar shade to Lena’s eyes if all warmth and the soothing blue had been sucked out of them, confined behind the door. She, once again, is thankful for lead.)

“We need to take you to see Alex.”

Kara wrenches her arm away. “No! I am already feeling better!”

Lena rapidly turns on her heel to face Kara. “No? Kara we can’t--you can’t. You were hurt! You are _hurt_!” Lena’s voice cracks and her eyes moisten with unshed tears. “You--Of fucking course I’m going to take you to fucking Alex!” She turns away. “If you’re just going to… to fucking stand there, I’m going to bring Alex to you.” She begins to walk away.

Kara doesn’t think; she jumps forward, reaching out toward Lena. Kara’s fingers grasp Lena’s wrist, and she feels the muscles tearing under her grip, as a desperate cry wracks itself from Lena’s throat.

The next Kara sees are Lena’s eyes staring, wet tracks straggling down her cheeks, hand cradled close to her chest. The pale skin on her wrist already darkening to an ugly deep purple.

Both of their heartbeats thump _Run, Run, Run, Run Run_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys for the angst. The next couple of chapters are going to be rough for everyone involved.
> 
> Come yell at me for doing on [Tumblr!](alienbeegenders.tumblr.com)
> 
> Love y'all!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena have a talk about what happened. Kara learns something important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with the chapter! I've just had an incredibly busy couple of weeks (such as, a wedding, classes, the beginnings of a job search, and binge watching The Good Place), and next week isn't looking to be too kind to me either. But I do promise I'm committed to this story! I love it! And I really wanted to put out another chapter before the show sucks outs my soul.
> 
> There's a lot more Kryptoniou in this chapter than in others. Translations, as always, are at the bottom.
> 
> And a reminder, dialogue in _italics_ is in Kryptoniou.

Kara runs.

(She runs as fast as her feet allow her; she’s still stumbling, an aftereffect of the green glow. She can’t push herself any faster, can’t brush up against the flickering frames of the universe.)

(Instead she feels like she’s running on _Krɪp.tɑn_ again; faster than when she was younger. Taller than the last time she was _Zɛð_.)

(The words feel foreign in her mind, on her tongue as she rolls them around, almost alien. It, everything to do with Krypton, her home and her life, tastes different in that moment.)

(She knows she can’t go home; she’s known it for over a decade. But it’s never felt as true as in this moment.)

When her legs finally give out underneath her, she throws herself through the nearest door, uncaring about how the handle buckles under her grip and falls to the floor useless once she’s inside. She leaves the door wide open.

(It’s not that she couldn’t keep running; she could. She can feel her blood pumping and her mind racing. She could escape; go grab Kal-El and just _leave_.)

(But Kal isn’t speaking to her.)

(And she just hurt one of the people who might have been willing to help.)

(And where could she go? There’s nowhere.)

(There hasn’t been for so long.)

(She could keep running, but she can’t bring herself too.)

Kara has stopped running. 

Now, she sobs.

* * *

Kara’s only sobbed for five minutes or so when Lena enters the room quietly, using her foot to muffle the bang of the door closing as her good hand gingerly holds (or maybe hides) her injury. She stands by the door, leaning against the wall.

(Kara can’t help but glance, can’t help but take a peek at Lena’s wrist.)

(She sees the purple has turned near black and blue, and Kara can’t bring herself to see the damage done herself. Instead she turns away, keeping Lena in the corner of her vision.)

“What, are you here to send me to Fort Rozz?” Kara’s voice is cracking, words fighting against the tears and cries forcing their way from her lips. 

Lena pauses for a moment, her eyes widening as her face contorts itself several different ways. “What did you say?”

“Fort Rozz. It… It is an old Kryptonian saying. _‘Those disobedient children get sent to Fort Rozz, where Rao’s light never touches them.’_ ”

Lena’s eyes flutter close as if digesting that information. “And is Fort Rozz a real place?”

“Yes.” Kara pauses for a breath; her voice finding a modicum more of stability. “It still should be out there. Probably. I… I do not actually know.”

Lena inhales. “Kara, you need to come with me.”

Kara shakes her head. “You… You can not honestly want me around. Not after...” Kara gestures vaguely at Lena.

Lena shakes her head. “We both know it was a reaction to the mineral. Neither of us could know that it would give you that much added strength.”

Kara laughs; it sounds emotionless to her ears. “You think that is what happened. No, no.” Kara shakes her head. “I… Ever since I came here, to this planet. That there? That was actually weaker than usual. I can also fly, I can move faster than near any object, I can see through most objects also, I can hear extremely well, I can shoot what you might call laser beams or a heat ray or… something from my eyes, I can not be hurt by objects and my skin is invulnerable as far as I know. Are there more things? Probably. I have no idea what else I am capable of.” Kara tries to catch Lena’s eye. She succeeds. “Now do you understand?”

Lena’s jaw clenches, and the affection in her eyes, the softness, fades. What remains is a Lena Kara doesn’t recognize. 

“You still have to come with me. Either you walk with me or I have to get someone to take you without your consent.” Lena’s voice softens, just a touch, even as her expressions don’t. “Please don’t make me do that Kara.”

* * *

Of course, when Kara follows Lena, they’re quickly separated.

(It’s Director Henshaw who gently touches Kara’s elbow, guiding her away from Lena. The last that Kara sees is Alex, face frowning, as she examines Lena’s wrist, and Lillian staring at Kara, her eyes flashing dangerously.)

(It’s Director Henshaw that pushes her behind a door, lined with lead. It’s Director Henshaw that closes the door, leaving Kara to sit in silence.)

(Kara tries to count the seconds that pass, but can’t focus. As Kal and Carter’s faces flash in front of her eyes, and she tries to strain her ears but no; no. She can barely hear the hall outside. To try to reach her hearing out, to try to grab onto Kal’s heartbeat would just be doomed to failure.)

(She doesn’t stop trying.)

It’s after an indeterminable amount of time (but too long, too long by so much) before Director Henshaw opens the door again, as he, Lucy and Lillian shuffle in. Henshaw is carrying a tablet with him. He goes to stand across from Kara, placing the tablet in front of her, as the other two stand off to the side.

He begins to speak. “You are Kara Zor-El?” Kara nods. “Please answer verbally, in English, for the record.”

“Yes I am.”

“And you are familiar with Fort Rozz?”

“Yes I am.”

“And were you aware that approximately 13 years ago, we started to encounter extraterrestrials who claim to be from Fort Rozz?”

Kara shakes her head. “N-no, I was not aware of that fact.”

(All she can think is _Disobedient children go to Fort Rozz_ , and one of the times she watched je.ju judicate.)

(An individual, easily seven feet tall, stood accused of a crime; which, Kara didn’t know. She had run late on her lessons, and only got there in time for the judgement. When Kara entered, however, the individual turned to her, eyes burning like Rao on the brightest days.)

(Je.ju sentenced them to Fort Rozz, but the entire time, their eyes remained on Kara.)

Lillian scoffs in the corner, but it sits there, uncommented on.

“Was Fort Rozz constructed by your people?” Kara remains silent. “Do I need to repeat the question?”

“Rao’s work belongs to Rao; and His people’s work belong to them.”

(She recoils at the notion of speaking the words in English, but she needs them to understand. There’s no way for her to discuss it. She can’t. She can’t give His people’s work away to anyone else.)

Director Henshaw pinches the bridge of his nose, before tapping away at the tablet for a few moments.

He turns the tablet toward Kara. “Do you recognize this individual?” On the screen, suddenly there’s a face.

Kara goes stiff. Does she recognize this individual?

(She only sees her face nearly every time she sleeps.)

(When she has good dreams, she clings to her, holding her tight.)

(When she has good dreams, she stays; she doesn’t disappear randomly.)

(When she has nightmares…)

(When she has nightmares, she sees her face, eyes wide open. Her mouth contorted in a scream.)

(She sees her body broken.)

(She sees her, her finger pointing accusatory. _Her_ voice, telling Kara she failed and now no one, not a single individual, can ever find their way to Rao’s light. That this is all on Kara.)

Does she recognize this individual?

She could live a thousand lives on Earth, and she would still recognize that face.

Kara looks upon the photo and sees _Astra_.

* * *

_It’s Kara’s Seventh Name-Day. Almost everyone’s gathered together, a thrill of excitement running through Kara’s spine. Je.ju and ukr and khehthgr and Lara Lor-Van and Jor-El._

_Almost everyone is here; the only person missing is Astra. And Kara… Kara won’t show off her talent without her. She needs Astra to see; to see Kara’s own solution to Rhae Gor-Kan’s three theses. After all, Astra gave her the idea._

_And of course Kara is impatient. Until she shows off her talent, the ceremony isn’t over and she can’t see Lana Va-Kor. But she can’t do this; not without Astra._

_(It’s not her fault that she ended up some kind of prodigy; someone who could be destined for multiple Guilds, so her Name-Day talent is more important than usual.)_

_(She doesn’t say it, but she does feel a little pang in her heart; that there’s no chance of her ending up in the Military Guild. She misses Astra every day; and with each mission, Astra seems to be offworld for slightly longer.)_

_(But… the Matrix and Rao know best. She will end up in the Artist’s Guild or the Science Guild or the Philosophy Guild. Not the Military Guild. Not with Astra.)_

_The day wears on, and Kara stands, her recital wear already itching at the collar. She’s trying to fight the pout on her face, but looking at je.ju and ukr’s barely hidden smiles, she knows it’s a lost task._

_(“Kara, beloved,” je.ju laughs, “the day has barely begun.”)_

_(And so what if Rao has only just peeked out from behind the gentle curve of the horizon? Each moment that Astra isn’t here is another moment that she is both without Astra and her best friend.)_

_As Kara’s just about to give up hope and resign herself to the fact that her Seventh Name-Day will be a day that never ends, the door opens and there she is, Astra in all her glory. Her eyes crinkle with delight and _love_ when they land on Kara, who beams back._

_A moment later, Kara’s swept up in a hug which she’s all too enthusiastic to return. “Oh, little one. I am so sorry for being late.” She looks up, eyes glancing at the people in the room. “Unfortunately, Non cannot make it. He’s doing the work I should be doing, so I can be here.” Her tone is slightly frosted, and Kara sees je.ju’s smile tighten for a moment. But then Astra turns back to Kara. “Could you please forgive me little one? You know that I love you as I would a child, if Rao had granted me one.”_

_Kara can’t help but smile back. “It’s perfectly fine.”_

_(She hears je.ju’s faint chuckle. She can feel je.ju and ukr and Astra share a knowing smile. But Kara’s not lying.)_

_(It wasn’t fine, but now it is because Astra is here, with Kara.)_

_(And, more than anything, that’s the best of she can hope for on her Name-Day.)_

_(It takes her half the day to recite her solution to Rhae Gor-Kan’s three theses. Astra is smiling at her the entire time, even when Kara almost slips up, almost stumbles over her words. Kara takes the encouragement that Astra sends her, uses it to center herself.)_

_(And she’s the first to congratulate Kara when she finishes.)_

_(As she places a kiss on top of Kara’s head, Astra whispers. “Only a few more Name-Days until you enter a Guild. I’m so excited for you, little one, but I’m almost as excited for us all. You… you will do great things, my genius night seer. You will be… extraordinary.”)_

_(And Kara can only whisper in return. “El Mayarah.”)_

* * *

Kara hasn’t spoken. She hasn’t said a single word. Her eyes cast around the room, looking for a familiar and friendly face, but there are none.

(None of the faces look friendly. Lucy… Lucy stares at her like she… as if she were Krit from old, formerly Krit-El, before they betrayed the House. Lillian looks at her in shocked triumph, her lips quirking upward a tick. And Director Henshaw? She can’t understand the look on his face; as if he’s a river underneath which a _Rakshogul_ lies, disturbing the water as it lays in wait for its prey.)

(She’s glad, for a moment, that neither Lena nor Alex are here. She was beginning to actually like the both of them; she wonders what relationships she might have had with either of them.)

(A question which she’ll never get an answer to.)

Director Henshaw is behind Kara, grabbing her wrists and cuffing her.

(He’s far gentler than she expected; there’s no reason to treat her like glass. Didn’t she prove that with Lena?)

(She experimentally tugs at them; they bend a little. She stops herself, however, from trying to break free. From giving them a reason to wonder why she doesn’t want to be detained by them. From giving them a reason to hypothesize, for a moment, about Kal’s existence.)

“Kara Zor-El, we have reason to believe that you have information about the Terrorist known only as her alias, “The General”, and that you have kept this information from the proper authorities. We also have reason to believe you have kept an extraterrestrial presence on this world, again without informing the proper authorities. Your rights, for what they are, will be read to you at a time of our choosing.”

Director Henshaw keeps talking, but Kara stops paying attention. It doesn’t matter. This… She…

Kara murmurs under her breath, one final request. _“Astra, please. Take care of Kal for me. Find him. Succeed where I fail. Please Rao, take care of him.”_

As she’s left behind in the room, she wonders (not for the first time) if dead Gods can answer prayers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love y'all, see you next time!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Krɪp.tɑn: Krypton
> 
> Zɛð: Home
> 
> Je.ju: Mother
> 
> Ukr: Father
> 
> Khehthgr: Grandfather
> 
> Note that the references to any Kryptonian by name (other than Astra, Lara and Jor) are completely made up people. As is most of the info about Kryptonian culture. So don't worry; it's not like anyone but me understands how this works.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is stuck in a room and is asked a whole bunch of questions. Things get... rocky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long, but look! It's longer than usual! I hope that makes up for it somewhat!
> 
> CW: imprisonment, things that look like (and are) panic attacks, discussion about what happened to Krypton.

Kara sits in the chair, mind blanking on her. Everything feels fuzzy; out of focus, as if her ability to think and see have simply fled her. The photo of Astra plays in front of her eyes, burned into her retinas. She can _see_ Astra’s lips curl up into an easy, familiar, small smile. How long has she wanted this? Wanted someone to appear, from deep beyond the stars who knew what Krypton is like?

(How long has she wished that the burden of Krypton not lie on her shoulders alone? Far too long.)

But, but, it’s… _Astra_ is here on Earth and Kara can see her and hold her and have someone to… to… _remember_ with her. But most of all, she can introduce Astra to… 

“Kal.” Kara utters his name on the edge of her breath, panic welling from deep within her. _They know. _She_ told them and they know. They know and they’re going for him and she has to get out of here and has to save Kal and he has to survive and if it would protect him she would give up anything and everything and they know about the glow and and_

Kal’s voice whispers in her ear. _“Kara.”_

(She hears the way his voice curdles around her name, how he pours ever resentment he ever had toward her into those two syllables. And she realizes.)

(She realizes that running won’t protect him; not when Kal won’t speak to her. She realizes that he’d fight her every step of the way. She realizes that she can’t protect him. Not this way.)

(She doesn’t know what to do to protect him… except…)

Kara shouts into the silence. “I want to talk! I will tell you what I know! Just please, I want to talk!”

(Her voice raises in volume and pitch with each word, to the point that the room subtly shakes; the table legs clatter against the floor and the handcuffs links jingle as they bounce up and down.)

The room remains silent beyond her breaths and the echoes of her scream.

The door does not open.

Once again, Kara weeps.

* * *

When the door finally opens and someone steps through, innumerous time has passed.

(Or perhaps no time at all.)

(She has stopped weeping, resigning herself to be stuck in this room for all eternity.)

(Another closed space that she’s trapped in or perhaps it’s the same one all along.)

(Perhaps the past years have been but a dream and it’s all about to collapse in on her.)

(She can’t hear any heartbeats, after all, none except her own.)

(It’s true it’s true she’s… she’s floating through space world spinning time paused and)

(The door opening brings her back.)

A handsome man steps through, eyes fixed on on a document in his hands.

(Tall and regal, he carries himself much like Lena does. But it’s… It’s lacking something. Warmth, perhaps. Or maybe timidity.)

He sits in the seat across from her, having not even taken a single glance away the folder. “Ms. Zor-El, I am Lex Luthor. I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you…” he finally looks up, a thin smile on his face, his hands gesturing around the room. “But I think circumstances would suggest otherwise.” Kara simply stares at him for a moment.

(Now that she knows, she can’t help but actually compare him to Lena.)

(Compares his closely cropped hair with how Lena maintains her long strands.)

(Compares his slightly wrinkled suit and loosened tie to how Lena always looks impeccable, every crease intentional and perfect.)

(Compares his voice, a little scratchy, catching on the back of his through, with how Lena’s voice flows like honey, and how she can listen to it all day.)

(Compares his eyes, blunt and cold, with Lena’s calculating yet genuine eyes.)

(It may have been a long day and her impulse control may be dulled, but now that she knows she can’t find Lex Luthor anything but comic.)

(Now that she knows, she can’t help but…)

Kara barks out a laugh. He looks up… something in his eyes flashing. “You would mind explaining what’s so funny about this situation?”

She tilts her head a little, composing the words she’s about to say. “You are Lex Luthor. Everyone told me you are the Luthor golden child, and how amazing you are. But Lena…” She shakes her head, her tone lowering as her realization about Lena haunts her. Even if… “Lena is…”

She watches affection melt his eyes a little before the steel returns sharply. He simply… examines Kara for a few moments.

(And that… Oh that is Lillian’s look; the one that urges Kara to run and be so very far away. But she can’t, not now. Not when she might finally be close to protecting the person that matters.)

“So how did Lena’s wrist get injured?” The question punches Kara.

( _She can feel the muscles tearing under her own fingers, the rapid beat of Lena’s heart pounding in her ears._ )

(She forces herself to take a deep breath, to remember where she currently is.)

“You already know.”

Lex shakes his head. “We don’t, actually. My sister is… notoriously difficult. When she makes a promise, she finds it very hard to break, even when…” he motions his hand briefly as if fishing for the correct turn of phrase, “the other party doesn’t really deserve it. And it seems she promised not to tell anyone.”

Kara frowns. “She did not promise me anything, and it… why would she keep this a secret? It does not make sense. You are lying to me.”

He shrugs, seemingly unconcerned. “It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe it, Ms. Zor-El. You are simply here to answer questions. How did Lena’s wrist get injured?”

Kara sighs. They know, so there’s no point in her lying. “I grabbed her wrist. I am not sure of the extent of the damage done to it.”

“Why did you grab her wrist?”

“Why does anyone do anything while they’re panicked?”

“Why were you panicked?”

Kara doesn’t answer.

“Why were you panicked?” Kara remains silent and Lex shakes his head. “If you don’t answer the question, we will have to ask someone else who might know. Like perhaps… your son Kal El?”

Kara growls, the noise rumbling in the back of her throat. “If you do, I will hurt you.”

Lex stands in a flash, his palm smacking the table. “Don’t you fucking threaten _me_! Not after what you did!” As suddenly as he stood, he takes a step back, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Let us… table that issue right now.” He sits back down. “What do you know about The General?”

And return to step one; Astra. “Probably not many relevant things.”

(This is true. Inherently. What use would it be to tell them about how Astra would touch her shoulder gently before drawing her into a hug? What use would the fact that Kara still has, tucked away in a closet somewhere, a bracelet Astra gave her, damaged when she landed on Earth and so unwearable?)

(What use would it be to tell them about the spy beacon, of which she would call to Astra every time she missed her? What use would it be to tell them that she _always_ would come?)

(What use would it be to talk about the _stars_ that Astra would show her and always ending by saying _“But little one; the brightest star I have ever seen is you.”_ )

(What use would knowing _Astra_ be to them?)

“Well, why don’t you begin and we’ll see?”

Kara takes a deep breath. “Her name is Astra.”

Lex raised an eyebrow at her. “And?”

“And what?”

“What species is she? What does she do? Does she have any skills? _Who_ is she?”

Kara pauses for a moment. “She is… one of Rao’s people. A Kryptonian.”

“As are you?”

“As am I.”

“And the rest?”

“I… am not sure I know enough to answer those questions.”

(It’s only truthful by technicalities. If Astra is… here, if she has anything to do with Fort Rozz… How? Astra _died_. How is she on Earth? What does Kara not know?)

“But you know her well enough to recognize her.”

“Not necessarily. Do you have the photo?” Lex walks over to Kara, pushing a folder in front of her. It’s the same photo as she saw before. “Do you see that symbol on her outfit?” Lex nods. “In the Language of Rao’s People, that tells her name. That is how I knew.”

(It’s a lie, mostly; the symbol is merely that of the House of Ze. Which technically, to a Kryptonian, is quite a bit of information, but not that name. Not _Astra_.)

“So you’re telling me that you don’t know anything about this Astra?”

“I am telling you that what I can tell you about Astra is not what you want to know.”

(This… is wholly the truth. There are so many things Kara can say about Astra. Things that no one would really want to know about her; especially not Lex.)

“You may not, but…” Lex trails off, closing and picking up the folder before walking to the door. “Ms. Zor-El, thank you for your time. Someone else will be continuing this examination later.”

“What about Kal?” Lex _hmmms_ , questioningly. “What… about… Kal?”

“Oh, right. Well, as long as you cooperate, Kal El doesn’t have to be brought in. Though I would say, next time?” Lex smiles at Kara, hand on the door knob. “Maybe a little more cooperation will keep Kal El away from this place a little longer.” He steps through, and Kara is left alone.

* * *

This time around, Kara is very aware of how time has passed when the door opens again. This time around, Alex Danvers walks through the door, in a labcoat and and holding a large notebook in her hands.

(Her gait is conflicted, shuffling as if she’s unsure whether to reach out to Kara or not. As if she’s unsure whether she likes Kara or not.)

(Which is patently ridiculous: of course she doesn’t like Kara. Why would she?)

“Kara.” Alex’s voice is soft and gentle, yet distant.

“Yes Agent Danvers?” Kara tries to make her voice sharp, cutting. Alex doesn’t flinch.

“Kara, I was sent to continue the… interview that Lex began. As the Chief Xenobiology Officer, it was determined that I would have the greatest amount of background knowledge on the subjects we wish to discuss with you. I have to ask you some questions now. About…. Well about yourself.” Alex glances at Kara, her eyes asking permission.

“Go ahead.”

(Kara hates how weak her voice sounds in that moment, how… defeated she is.)

Alex’s eyes scan down the paper she’s holding in front of her, trying to choose the questions she wishes to ask.

After a few moments of silence, Alex speaks up. “Are you familiar with your species anatomy?”

Kara shrugs. “Not as much as those who were in the Healer’s Guild.”

Alex nods. “Would you say that you’re a typical example of a Kryptonian?”

“Before I ended up on Earth, I suppose.”

“And since you ended up on Earth?”

“There… have been some changes. Presumably since I am no longer living underneath Rao.”

“And you’ve mentioned before you caloric intake, but we didn’t go into detail about the specifics of that. What’s your diet consist of?”

And so, the questions continue; each about Kara’s anatomy and physiology. A back and forth, Alex’s tone of voice a monotone. Kara’s reluctant as she answers each question as minimally as possible.

(Each question cuts like an accusation with how dispassionate Alex sounds. How detached she is.)

(Each question reveals how little they, whomever they may be, care about her beyond her body.)

(Each question reveals how… alien she is.)

(Each question brings Kara closer and closer to a tipping point, another one.)

(She would laugh about how many times she’s stood on the brink of… something lately before falling and finding herself at a new brink.)

(She would laugh if it weren’t so upsetting.)

(She would laugh if she wasn’t wondering where the final brink would lead her.)

“What is the expected lifespan of your species?” And Kara can’t take it any more.

“No!”

Alex’s eyes meet Kara’s, confusion flashing in them. “No?”

“No! You are just going to sit there, taking notes, examining and prodding and poking at me! How is this useful at all? What, do you want to know how most effectively to _hurt_ me? Why would you put me under a microscope? Do not think I do not know that you’re watching me with those cameras. Why are you asking me these questions at all? To figure out what I am? New flash! I am not a human and you will _never_ understand me.”

(Kara barely notices that her breaths have grown ragged and short, how the handcuffs have shattered, the links clacking against the floor.)

(She doesn’t notice how her eyes heat up, dampened only by the lead mesh in her glasses. 

(Kara barely notices anything that isn’t Alex’s retreating form; the way that the door closes behind her and then silence.)

* * *

When Alex returns, she makes a show of revealing her empty hands. “Look, no notes, no microscopes, nothing. I even turned off the cameras recording this conversation. I just want to talk with you.” Kara doesn’t acknowledge the concession; doesn’t acknowledge much of anything.

Alex sits across from Kara, again.

(Kara’s tired of seeing faces sitting across from her, of staring at her. Of mouths that ask questions , but once again her heart beats _Kal, Kal, Kal, Kal_ and she tries… she tries…)

“Who’s Rao?”

Kara’s body stiffens a little at the question. “What?”

“You’ve mentioned Rao several times, and you seem to use it as a name. So…. Who is Rao, exactly?”

“My… Sun. My God, you might say. Rao… Rao was the beginning. He lit the World and created his Jewel, Krypton. And we were His People.” She sees Alex hesitate on the word ‘were’, but she doesn’t make mention of it. “He’s supposed to take us in, when we died. And at the end of everything, we’d return to Him.”

“Supposed to?”

Kara snorts. “It’s hard to believe in a dead God.” Kara sighs and runs her hand through her hair. Alex’s eyes flicker to her freed hand. “Our home… _My_ home. Is no more. It died, so very suddenly. I thought… I was the last. And I did not even send them to rest; not properly at least.”

“You mean you and your son Kal are the last, right?” Kara can’t help but shake her head. “... How much do you know about Earth religions?” Kara remains silent, not speaking.

(She knows a little; not as in depth as other parts of human culture.)

(Each time she tried, she’d barely be able to breathe after a few minutes.) 

(To hear them talk about God, and not be discussing Rao _burned_ away at her.)

(Eventually she stopped trying to learn.)

“Well my…” Alex pauses, mentally rooting around for the words. “The people of my religion. And I’m not… not a great example of one. I’ve never… really had strong faith, and I only celebrate the… visible holidays. But when my… one time, at a funeral…” Alex’s voice wavers, just a small shiver, at whatever memory she’s living now.

(Kara’s not sure if anyone else would be able to hear it.)

“The rabbi spoke a little prayer. And most of the words washed over me, right over my head; I… I didn’t _want_ to listen to them. But I remember hearing him say _May God protect him, with the_ ” Alex’s voice cracks a little and she backtracks a little. “ _with the shelter of His wings._ ”

_“May you travel to Rao, guided and protected by His light.”_

“Umm… excuse me?”

“It, um… It is a little of our prayer for those who have passed. It says something very similar to what yours said. May you travel to Rao, guided and protected by His light. That is… not… umm… It is a rather poor translation, all said. It does not capture the… nuance of the thought. The belief that we all will end up in Rao’s light, if we are sent on the journey properly. That… by saying the words, we help steer those to the light, even if just by a little.”

“And so, this Astra?” Alex’s voice sounds impossibly soft and gentle, guiding the conversation.

“My… planet. It burned.” Alex reaches over to touch Kara gently on the hand, but Kara flinches away. Alex’s brow furrows, but she doesn’t say anything. She just lets Kara continue. “There was no way… there was no way to escape it. One second Krypton was here, the next I’m shoved in a pod by my parents and shot to the stars. And finally, Krypton… disappeared. I thought…” Kara’s voice trails off into silence.

“Seeing another Kryptonian alive must have been… difficult.”

Kara laughs, bitterly. “Seeing Astra alive is quite the shock, yes.” 

Alex nods. “I can imagine.”

Kara hmms.

(Kara knows that Alex can’t imagine; not really. That no matter what trauma she’s faced in her life, Alex _can’t_ understand what it’s like to lose… literally everything. To believe that you are what remains of an entire people, a culture; that every fact about a single world, once it’s lost to her is lost forever. Kara’s not sure if anyone else knows what that feels like.)

(And to suddenly discover… another? To discover someone she had explicitly tried to put to rest, to send to Rao, wasn’t in need of it? Has she damned Astra to never reaching Rao’s light? Who else is out there? Who else has she damned?)

(There are no words in any of the languages Kara speaks to describe how it tears away at Kara, her entire universe shifting around her feet.)

“Kara, I know it’s hard to believe but I would like to think I’m on your side. Admittedly there’s quite a bit I don’t know, but I do know you have something to do with Lena’s injuries. But all she could talk about, while I examined her and patched her up, was well… her own confusion. All she talked about was you.” Kara blinks, not understanding why this is relevant.

Alex leans back in her seat, and takes a deep breath. “Kara, I can’t say I understand you. But I’d like to.”

With that, Alex stands up, and leaves again, but giving Kara a smile on the way out.

Kara’s alone once more. But maybe…

Or on the other hand… 

Kara is left alone to stew in her own confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at m on tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Also this chapter is a turning point! We're finally about to move out of this section of angst and return to a little more lightheartedness in the near future!
> 
> Hope I didn't hurt you guys too badly!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finally gets to leave the room; she discovers something and learns something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don't have much to say about this chapter. At least right now. I don't love how it came out but it's necessary in order to get to the next bits.
> 
> But yeah, the worst of the angst has now passed.

Kara’s final interrogator turns out to be Director Henshaw.

(He enters the room quietly, eyes flitting over her, observing or measuring her.)

(She stays still; she knows she can reach over and grab him, _force_ him to let her go. She would never actually do so; she has to believe that cooperation is keeping Kal safe. She _has_ to.)

(It doesn’t stop her from taking a small amount of comfort from the fact.)

He sits across from her, eyes firmly meeting hers, mouth thinned into a small frown. He doesn’t speak.

(She doesn’t speak, either. But _she’s_ not the interrogator here. It’s not her job to speak first.)

Time passes in silence. A band of pressure stretches across her head, pressing hardest against her temples.

(She has heard of headaches before, but she didn’t believe she could have one on Earth. Is this what they’re supposed to feel like?)

When Director Henshaw speaks, it catches her off guard. “Kara Zor-El. You are something of a…” His voice trails off.

(He’s speaking softly; as with every interaction he’s had with Kara, she’s continually surprised about how gentle he is around her. He’s never raised his voice, and even when he put her in cuffs, he didn’t roughhouse her.)

(He should know about her strength though; why is he then…)

“You are something of an interesting puzzle. At least in the eyes of… some here.” His eyes flicker toward a corner of the room.

(A corner of the room behind Kara, but she hears the low hum emanating from there. If she lets her imagination wander, she can hear the information travelling through the air; the very image of her, sitting there, making its way to some other location.)

(And she knows he’s talking about Alex and Lena; the repeated insistence that Lena is still trying to protect her, after everything. When, why would she? If it’s true, it doesn’t make… sense.)

(It helps fit the narrative as well; she’s a puzzle to them. That Lena ran to the others and told them, told them all about her and Kal after promising not to. After saying she won’t. That Alex asks her about _Rao_ and now everyone at DEO-Cadmus _knows_.)

(She ignores the voice in the back of her head, the one that spoke so loudly after Alex left. The one that tells her that perhaps… Perhaps it’s not all a lie. That they told her the truth. The one shouting _hope, hope, hope, hope_.)

(She can’t believe it to be anything but false.)

She realizes that moments have ticked away in silence, and he hasn’t elaborated. Clearing her throat, she speaks up. “And?”

(It’s not the wittiest retort, but it is the information she needs.)

He shakes his head slowly. “I… have a proposition for you. Are you at least willing to hear it out?”

(She considers, for a moment, telling him no. No she does not want to “hear out” the person who put her here. The person for whom she was threatened. The person for whom _Kal_ was threatened.)

(She wants to have the power to say no, but she doesn’t.)

In lieu of a verbal answer, she just nods, hoping that he won’t require her to say it aloud.

(Hoping that he doesn’t make it real in the way that saying it aloud would.)

Fortunately he doesn’t. Instead he returns her nod. “With everything we have learnt so far about The General, this… Astra,” Kara tries not to flinch at the name, how it rolls stiffly off his tongue. (She’s fairly certain she doesn’t succeed.) “And knowing that you are of the same race as her, we’re hoping that you may at least give us the basics on their technology, what their eventual aims might be, etc..” He pauses for a brief moment, his eyes still searching hers. “Help us, and we can ensure you and Kal-El will be safe.”

(Kara almost laughs. The thought that Astra is more dangerous to Kara or Kal than… anyone in this building is a ridiculous claim. As ridiculous as the claim that she can tell them what they want to know. That she’d be able to bring herself to.)

(But… This is her chance to actually salvage the situation. To regain at least a modicum of control. She’s already surrendered herself to them. This… has to be a step up, right?)

She closes her eyes and sucks in a deep breath. “Fine. What do you need from me exactly?”

* * *

Once Kara’s agreed to her own indenturing, things begin to move fairly rapidly, at least compared to the slow crawl they had been moving at for the last few hours.

She’s shuffled through various different rooms, in each, someone prods her or studies or or asks her questions that she automatically answers as quickly and as in few words as possible; each one slipping her mind as soon as it’s asked.

(During this whole process, Director Henshaw shadows her. Watches her. She wonders why he doesn’t force another keeper onto her, but she doesn’t ask.)

And, at last, she’s brought down to Storage.

(She feels the cold tendrils grasping at her, memories of last time she was here waking in the back of her mind.)

(She knows, she _knows_ where they are headed, even though no one tells her.)

(Of course _she’d_ make Kara have another look, now that they can _make_ Kara.)

(Kara nearly shouts when she’s right, as she sees her own pod, vivisected right in front of her.)

(She sees the tube, which kept her nourished over the silent years, lying discarded on the floor. She sees the little speaker, which whispered facts about Earth (and oh so many of those facts were wrong, she’d come to learn but she still forgets, sometimes, that Earth doesn’t have two dominant species; that computers aren’t sentient yet) into her ears, tossed in a corner.)

(She sees what is essentially the longest lasting _home_ she’s ever had, open and stripped in front of her; an autopsy of the worst years of her life.)

(Her fingers clench into the palms of her hands, nails pressing against her skin. She wonders, briefly, if she can press just a little further, and maybe her skin will break.)

(She remembers her last injury; how she accidentally scraped her hand on the inside of the pod door when she was rushed in. The small stinging pain before she shot off into space and… everything disappeared.) 

Inside the pod, she can see the a mop of brownish hair; Winn’s muttering to himself, obviously unaware of Kara and Director Henshaw’s presence. At least until Director Henshaw clears his throat.

(That causes Winn to spin around, his head catching on the back of the pod; he smiles sheepishly as he rubs the spot where he hit it, and all Kara can think is whether or not he hit himself in the exact same place she did, all those years ago. She can’t… She can’t quite tell from the angle.)

(Her memory of the event, after all, is fine. She’s definitely not forgetting anything about her final moments on Krypton; it’s not that she can’t remember, it’s _not_.)

“Director Henshaw and…” He sees Kara and his smile turns into a grin. “Kara! I haven’t seen you in ages. How have you been?” He shrinks, however, when Kara glares at him. “Okay, clearly a sore subject.” He turns to catch Director Henshaw’s eye. “What can I do for you?”

“Ms. Zor-El has decided to offer her assistance in whatever way she can. We hope,” he quickly glances at Kara who stays still, jaw clenched tight, “that she can tell us anything about…” he gestures at the pod, “this. After all, the design is similar to The General’s vessels; so we might be onto something here. 

“And I’ll leave you two to it. But, Ms. Zor-El…” He catches her eye. “I need to speak with you in an hour’s time.” He slips a piece of paper into her hands. “These are directions from here to there. Please don’t be late.”

With that, he exits the room, leaving Winn and Kara on their own.

* * *

Kara is not sure, exactly, what to do. Winn went immediately back to ripping things out of the pod, murmuring to himself the entire way, sometimes throwing out theories on what a part or another did. So she’s left standing there, keeping her eyes focused on anything but the pod or the parts on the ground.

(Kara doesn’t tell him how wrong his theories are; how he sometimes presents an item that’s only part of a whole, or actually three components that he mistook for one.)

(She doesn’t tell him that the object he thinks might be a fuel injector actually is simply part of the g-force dampeners, or how the riveting that he’s pointing at isn’t part of the engine casing, but the exterior hull.)

His most egregious error, however, comes when he pulls out what appears to be a small black box. “Now, what’s this here?” He twists it in his hands, trying to make sense of it. “It was easily removable; seems to exist on its own. Maybe it’s meant to fill in a space? Well, anyway, I can’t see how this is important.” He shrugs his shoulder and tosses it over his shoulder, much like the rest.

(But he’s wrong; it’s not meant to simply fill a space or meaningless. No, this… this is something she’s truly familiar with.)

(She remembers seeing one, powering an image of Xaxxam-El, as they would answer questions about the history of the House. How she would seek it out, late at night, just to see their face brighten up, seemingly excited about having someone to talk to; no matter how many times she was told that the hologram of Xaxxam-El has no feelings, she couldn’t help but imagine… to hope. That they got as much comfort out of her presence as she did from theirs.)

(She catches it before it hits the floor, holding it gently and _oh_ her parents… je.ju and ukr… They… She wonders what image they chose; what it would say when she turns it on.)

(She slips the component into her pocket, hoping the fact that she put it in there isn’t too obvious. She prays that it still is complete; that it survived when little else did.)

(She hopes, as she always does, that Rao can hear her prayers.)

(She brushes her trousers, wrinkling them around the pockets; just in case.)

The reset of the hour passes slowly; Kara making little comment as Winn bounces theories off of her. He doesn’t seem to notice.

(Her mind is still stuck in her pocket, wanting, wanting to make the AI work. To make this little piece of _home_ work.)

And yet, when she begs her leave, Winn’s face falls. “Kara, wait, before you go?” Kara stands at the door, waiting. “So, umm… thanks. I know you didn’t say much and I don’t know if you know anything about… this,” he gestures to the pod, “but bouncing ideas off of people, aloud, helps me think. So you were really a great help.” His face flushes and his hands rubs the back of his neck. But he smiles at her anyway. “Thank you Kara.”

“You’re welcome Winn.”

(The smile she wears as she leaves; it’s not a true smile. Not real; it can’t be, not after this day. But it isn’t fake either. It wavers in this ambiguity. By the time the door closes behind her, it’s gone; washed away.)

* * *

She enters the room that Director Henshaw directed her to; she finds him already waiting for her, and he closes and locks the door behind her.

There are no chairs; no particularly distinctive features of the room. Instead she’s left to simply just stand and watch him.

She watches him as he paces back and forth in the small room, eyes flickering to the door, fingers fiddling together. She watches him remain silent doesn’t speak. 

(If Kara didn’t know any better, his movements would come off as uncharacteristically nervous.)

“Ms. Zor-El. I…” his eyes flick over the door one final time before he turns his full attention back to her. “I need to show you something that only one other person here has seen. It… It is not an easy thing to do, but for what’s coming I need you to trust me.”

Before Kara can even respond, his body suddenly… loses shape, is the only way that Kara can describe it. One moment Director Henshaw stands in front of her, the next, a constantly moving mass, does. And after a second the mass seems to recombine itself, moving on its own accord mass stretching out, shifting and changing. And then: 

A hulking green figure, easily taller than her by at least half her own height stands in front of her. His eyes glow red. His voice vibrates, lower and more melodic than before.

“My name is J’onn J’onzz. And I can understand you and your pain more than you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I promise Lena's in the next chapter. So is Kal. And there's a good probability of Jess. Lots of talking will ensue.
> 
> Basically everyone gets to take a breath.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J'onn and Kara talk. Lena and Kara talk. Kara and Kal talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I'm rushedly putting up this chapter since today is a very busy day but I want you guys to have this.
> 
> Lena's in it! So's Kal! It's not as angsty as the previous chapters! I hope you enjoy!

Kara looks at Dir--J’onn J’onzz, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. “Excuse me? You are… who?”

“I am J’onn J’onzz, last of the Green Martians. So, I know your pain.”

“But you… You just… You put…” Kara’s thoughts and minds race; is he a shape shifter? If he’s a fellow alien why did he arrest her? Why help form DEO-Cadmus? Why any of this?

But before she can ask, can even formulate the questions she wants… _needs_ to ask, the door opens and in steps Alex Danvers, eyes flickering between the two of them, standing there before she steps in front of J’onn, broadening her shoulders somewhat.

(It’s a defensive gesture. One meant to protect J’onn.)

“Kara before you--”

However she intends to finish that sentence, J’onn cuts it off with a hand to her shoulder. “It’s okay Alex. She knows. There’s a reason I asked you both here, after all.”

Alex turns on her heels and stares at J’onn. “J’onn, you told her?” He nods his head slightly. “But… why?”

“She needs to be able to trust me, and you, before I tell her what she needs to know.”

Alex and J’onn stare at each other for a few moments, locked in silent conversation, facial expressions barely twitching to get their message across.

(Kara wonders, for a brief moment, whether or not J’onn is telepathic. If he is, what he has picked up on in the consciousness of her mind?)

(She begins to project white noise into her thoughts. Just to be safe.)

But as the two continue their silent conversation, each gesture and movement earning another in response, Kara’s frustration grows; she doesn’t know why she’s _here now_ , why she’s been entrusted with this secret?

She decides to voice these frustrations, her voice a growl. “I do not know what it is you are doing or discussing but I need some answers. Like, why am I here? Why are you telling me this? You already have all the information you need from me out of Lena, right? About how to make me cooperate. So what purpose does this have?”

Alex speaks up, her brow furrowing. “Umm… Kara? Lena didn’t tell us anything. Not after her initial report.”

“But you knew about Kal?”

Alex shrugs. “Your son? Well, yeah. You have official records in the system about him. When you showed Winn your documents, it really didn’t take much to find out about Kal.”

Kara flushes and deflates. “Oh.”

J’onn interjects, a small smile on his face. “He’s your cousin, actually, isn’t he?” As Kara whips around to stare at him, questions or accusations (she’s not sure which) on her lips, he taps his forehead. (She can see Alex, for her part, startle in the corner of her eye.) “My people are telepathic.”

Kara grits her teeth, the anger and frustration rushing back. “So, what? You asked me questions about His People while just stealing that information from me? Plumbing the depths of my memories to just take it? Is that what you planned all this time?”

He raises his hands, placatingly. “No, no. I can’t read your mind. Which is, actually, quite the giveaway for you being extraterrestrial. I read Ms. Luthor’s mind instead.”

Kara pinches the bridge of her nose. “Oh Rao, if that is true, I have to…” She sighs. “Lena. How… how am I going to apologize to her?” And she suddenly points at J’onn, anger dripping off her tongue. “And you! You have to apologize for reading her mind! Without her consent I presume?”

(As both Alex and J’onn look at her, chastised and a bit cowed, Kara knows her tone is wildly fluctuating. But it’s not her fault that the entire day has filled with one emotional whiplash to another.)

(She’s just so… so _fucking_ tired.)

(She’s been so fucking tired since that day when she wrenched Kal’s pod door off and, cradling him to her chest, slept on the top of the nearest mountain she found.)

J’onn speaks after a moment, addressing her softly. “Ms. Zor-El--”

Kara’s fist smashes the plaster on the wall. “Stop fucking calling me that!” She can feel the heat building up behind her eyes, and she knows this is dangerous territory; that this entire day has been dangerous for her; that these past few weeks have been. “None of you know how to pronounce it correctly. And I have had to sit here, for _weeks_ , hearing you butcher my name, my culture, my fucking _language_ every time you address me. So you,” she gestures to both Alex and J’onn, “are either going to call me Kara or nothing at all. Understood?” They both nod.

(Kara knows she probably should _feel_ something about that; whether shame at her outburst, or relief at finally, finally speaking up.)

(But she doesn’t. All she wants is to… figure out if she should apologize to Lena, and then go home to Kal, hold him and sleep.)

J’onn begins to speak again. “Kara, it’s getting late. I’ll be sending you home with Ms. Luthor, and at that time you can apologize to her as profusely as you wish. Understood?”

Kara nods.

(She wants to protest, the small holdout in her mind, the one telling her that Lena was the one who told about Kal, that the inaccuracies in their information don’t mean anything, that that was an attempt to protect Lena.)

(And yet, she knows, if she misses this opportunity, she’s not sure she can ensure an honest response in the end of the day; neither from Lena nor herself.)

* * *

The car ride is silent for most of the journey. Even after J’onn reassumed his disguise as Director Henshaw, and Alex and him flanked her as they delivered her to her car, where Lena, wrist bound tightly, waits, eyes coolly watching the three of them. Kara got into the car without saying a single word, with barely an acknowledgement of Lena’s presence. Even after Lena followed and… Kara swears she sees _something_ flicker in Lena’s eye as she did so.

(Fear? Contrition? Anger? Kara can’t quite figure it out.)

The car ride is silent, and Kara feels the weight of it pressing in on her.

(But she can’t… she can’t be the one to break that weight, to try to cut away at it. She’s the one, after all, who bears the… believes the phrase is, bears the elephant in the room? _She’s_ the one who injured Lena. _She’s_ the one who suspected Lena of betraying her confidence. _She’s_ the one still uncertain whether or not Lena actually did. So she isn’t the one break the silence. She can’t be.)

Lena’s voice is light yet soft, when she finally speaks. “The company name is LLC. Technically.”

Kara nods. “Lucy told me.”

Lena continues on, not noting the interruption. “When I was young, just after I was adopted by the Luthors when I was four, I thought that LLC’s stood for ‘Lena Luthor is cool’.” Kara chuckles, the image of a small Lena Luthor, imagining a world where all these big corporations think she’s an amazing human being. “Anyway, I told this to Lex and Lillian, and… well, Lex laughed and laughed and laughed. In between breaths, he’d begin to try to… tell me something.”

“And Lillian?” Kara keeps her voice low, but Lena turns to her, catching her eyes, and Kara finds that she can’t turn away.

“She… didn’t have the same reaction. But… when it came time to… To set up the company, for Project Cadmus, I asked her for her suggestion and she told me I should call it LLC.”

“The General, Astra… is my aunt.” Kara runs a hand through her hair. “I… I need to be able to trust you, Lena. I need to. You… You were the first person, here, on Earth, I felt like I could talk to. And there were times… today. Times that I thought I couldn’t do that.” Kara takes a deep breath, trying to stop herself from flinching from Lena’s gaze. “And I know that seems unfair, that I am the one who hurt you and then believed you… you betrayed my confidence.” Kara finally flicks her gaze away. “That I am still not convinced you didn’t. But… as soon as they… that Lex made it clear that they know about Kal…” She pauses, struggling to find the words.

(She feels Lena’s eyes on her, waiting patiently.)

(And that patience seems to make it worse.)

“Lena, I need to be able to trust you, or else I think I will go mad. I have never felt like I ought to trust someone from this planet as much as I do you. And so I am trusting you with this piece of information. That Astra is my aunt, that I love her as much as I love my own mother, and I will protect her as much as I can. If she is… If she has really endangered innocent lives, then I will do what I can to make sure she stops, but I… I cannot betray her. Not truly.”

(The fact that this is a test is unspoken; that Kara has given Lena information that is _important_ and relevant. That, if Lex or Lillian or Alex learns about it, Kara will be gone. Forever.)

Silence returns to the car. It’s only as the car is pulling up to Kara’s building that Lena speaks up again.

“Kara, I…” She sighs. “I have not, nor do I plan to break your confidence. Kara, you are my best friend, no matter how sad that fact is. Jess, Alex, Lucy and the rest? I know them, I get along with them, but I’m not… close to them. Not as close as we got over the last week. While I can… understand your reasons for not trusting me, I’m… I want to trust you too. But…” her gaze falls to her wrist. “I’m not sure that it’s only your trust in me that’s at stake here.” She chuckles, it awkwardly sitting in the dead air. “I guess there’s work to be done on both sides here. Anyway, take tomorrow off. I’ll see you the day after?”

Kara nods. She can’t do anything but.

As she steps out of the car, Lena’s voice, tentative, calls out to her. “Kara?” Kara turns, seeing how Lena catches her lip in between her teeth, in worry.

“Yes, Lena?”

“Could you… If it’s not rude or anything, teach me how to speak your language? Not tomorrow or anything like that but just… sometime. I would like to learn.”

Kara can’t help but sigh relievedly. It’s a start. “Yeah, I guess I can teach you some Kryptoniou. Not tomorrow but sometime.”

* * *

Kal is in his own room when Kara enters her home.

(It had been dark outside when she finally was able to leave the base; she didn’t know which would worse: if Kal had followed her instructions from not that long ago and fled, or if he hadn’t.)

(But it’s clear, for better or worse, he took the second option.)

On her way to his room, she takes the cube she took from her pod and places it on the kitchen table. It’s such a small thing, but already she’s trying to figure out how she can activate it; turn it on. How to use this last gift from her parents.

And then, she hears Kal turn on his bed, letting out a little sigh (one that he only gives when he feels the need to talk, to tell Kara something) and she snaps to attention. She reminds herself of what’s truly important.

She knocks on Kal’s door.

(For a moment there’s silence; she knows he knows it’s her. She’s giving him the opportunity to ignore her, to make her go away. She _needs_ to see him, but needs him to feel comfortable within these walls more. 

And… he opens the door. His face shallow and blank to anyone who doesn’t know, but she _raised_ him. She knows him and his tells. His face only becomes shallow and blank when there are too many emotions stirring around inside his head, when-- 

“Ieiu.”

“Kal.” She wraps her arms around him and begins to trill softly, and he returns in kind.

(With each trill her mind calms, and her muscles relax. She can feel his muscles relax, hear his breaths grow deeper. She guides him to her room and her bed, and he follows willingly. They both sprawl on top of the sheets, and sleep gnaws on the edge of her consciousness.)

She fights at the sleep, hoping to convey this one message to Kal before she does.

(She considers speaking to him in Kryptoniou, but that’s her language, not his. And she needs him to _understand_.) 

“Kal, I am so so sorry for ever making you feel like you cannot be your authentic self. I know that both you and Carter care deeply for each other. I just…” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “This world is so alien to me. Each day I run into more and more signs of how _different_ humans are to me. How different Earth is to Krypton. But… you grew up here. This is your home. You know, much more than I, about the people of this world and whether or not they will harm you. 

“You are the best of me, us’kah. It is time for me to put faith in that fact.”

(Kal doesn’t respond to her, but he does grip at her tighter and trills a little more insistently. So she believes he understood the message.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I promise, 100% swear that the next chapter is going to be fluffy as anything. With only minimal angst. Probably.
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr @alienbeegenders or in the comments below. I'm not picky. But really! Hearing from you guys makes my day!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara fifth-wheels, then seventh-wheels. 
> 
> Kara has a date.
> 
> We have unexpected visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry sorry for taking so long. But life hates me and things got really busy and I'm late by like two weeks. I hope this makes up for it in some form or another. It's extra long, which might help??? It's also much fluffier than usual. Very gay. 8 gay, I might even say.
> 
> Umm... sorry for any mistakes? Or if it's bad? I just needed this chapter out.

The next few weeks pass with relative quiet. The fall gives away to the beginning of winter in early December, and Kara stumbles to adjust to a new normal.

And with it, comes overtures for her friendship. Lunches with Jess become even more frequent and Alex has made a point to reach out to Kara every other day or so. So do those at the DEO.

(When she returns to the base for the first time after… after everything, Lucy seeks her out to apologize; it’s heartfelt and earnest, yet she doesn’t know… She doesn’t know why that day hurt Kara, why she isn’t eager to bring up the memories. Kara can’t, doesn’t, hold it against Lucy, of course.)

The Cadmus people (that is, the Luthors), on the other hand, made sure to give her as much space as possible. Kara really doesn’t mind.

(Even Lena still keeps her distance, and while it stings and picks away at a scar that she can’t… she can’t… Despite that, Kara can’t blame her.)

(No one has even intimated that they know that Astra is Kara’s aunt. Now it’s Lena’s turn to define the terms of their relationship. That’s the least that Kara can do for her.)

She learns more about how to pretend to be human in these few weeks than she did before meeting Lena. She learns that her… friends (she supposes) react better to her when she reacts in an upbeat manner, when she acts slightly confused and flustered.

(It’s not always bad; she often is, after all, almost constantly slightly confused and flustered by this life on Earth. But it still feels… unauthentic. It still goes against the voice in her head, the one telling her to quiet; to be calm and dignified in the manner of a daughter of the House of El.)

(She still places on the mask and prepares the role.)

Alex is the only one who frowns when Kara brightens up. She never says anything; only Kara can see it. The slight hesitation in body and voice, the quick downturn of the lips.

(Alex is the only one who doesn’t seem fooled, but Kara doesn’t know _why_.)

Kal talks to Kara more, while Kara tries to respect his need for space. 

And still, there is no news on Astra, no matter how long they wait. 

(Kara is relieved, she’ll admit in a rare moment of honesty. She’s not… she’s not sure if she could handle seeing her. Would that be the moment she breaks?)

(As long as Astra exists somewhere, quietly in the shadows, the inevitable can be delayed.)

And finally, she works on her own project; the cube, sitting on the kitchen table, that she’s been poking and prodding at. She just… she needs to find the right power source, but her pod… She can’t.

(It will still be there, broken and shattered. She can’t see it again. Not yet.)

And so the weeks pass in relative silence.

* * *

“Kiera! My former assistant. Here instead of watching over Carter?”

Kara turns on her heel, caught off guard by the sudden presence of Cat Grant, and freezes. Because, in a very technical sense, it is true; Carter and Kal are home, on their own. Which… may not have been the smartest idea, but she was invited to lunch and really, those two can take care of themselves for a little while, right? Anyway, Kara is keeping an ear out for them, but that’s not very easily explainable or comforting to someone who doesn’t know what Kara’s capable of.

Kara reaches up, fiddling slightly with her glasses. “Ms. Grant! I mean, yes I am here instead of watching over Carter, since, I mean, you can obviously tell that by looking at me. But I was invited to lunch and I trust Carter and Kal to be on their own for a little while. Do you not?”

It’s only then that she notices the woman standing next to Cat; she’s wearing pantsuits and feels vaguely reminiscent of someone Kara knows, though she can’t place who.

The woman smirks as she sees Kara take her in; reaching out a hand. “Lois Lane.”

Kara shakes the proffered hand. “Kara Zor-El. It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Lane.”

The smirk relaxes into a small smile. “Call me Lois. And, well, my girlfriend is a little bit… stingy when it comes to her personal life.”

Cat rolls her eyes. “I am not stingy, I just don’t understand the need to broadcast every last bit of my personal life to the world.”

Kara frowns. “Excuse me, girlfriend?”

Lois gives Kara a critical look. “Is that a problem?”

Kara shakes her head. “No? Why would it be? I am just curious because I have never heard Ms. Grant say a nice thing about you.”

Lois bursts out laughing. “Likewise. It’s how she shows love, the poor dear.” She turns to Cat and kisses her on the cheek; Cat simply rolls her eyes.

“Anyway, Kiera, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, my friends, Alex and Lucy, invited me here.”

Lois laughs again. “Alex Danvers and Lucy Lane?”

Kara gasps. “How did you know?”

Cat sighs. “Because, Kiera, they’re the ones who invited us along as well.”

Kara pauses for a second, the cogs turning in her mind. “You are Lucy’s sister!” She points at Lois.

A smirking voice comes up from behind her. “She would prefer it if you said that I was her sister.”

“Lucy!” Kara exclaims excitedly. Lucy and Alex are standing there, hand in hand. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t warn you, but these two,” Lucy gestures vaguely at Lois and Cat, “just invited themselves along when I happened to make the mistake of mentioning to Lois that I had plans while she happened to be in town, and well… that apparently counts as an invitation. And speaking of...” she glances over to the hostess, “I think they’re ready to seat us.” And, indeed, the hostess is gesturing toward them, placing them in a quiet corner, and the group begin to examine their menus.

* * *

While they’re deliberating on what, exactly, to eat, Kara asks a question that’s been teasing the edge of her consciousness. “All Carter tells me,” Alex, Lucy and Lois break out into wild grins at the mention of the name, “is that you, Ms. Grant, get ‘grumpy’ whenever you have to spend time with Lois. So how did you get together?”

Cat responds quickly and decisively, tone brooking no argument. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Lois, for better or worse, ignores the clear sign and gently pokes at Cat’s cheek.

(Cat blinks a few times, leaning slightly away from her.)

“Aww, Kitty, you’re doing that thing again.”

Cat simply sighs. “As we have gone over before, there is no thing.”

“Oh, Kitty, yes there is. Where you deflect because you value your privacy to a rather high degree. She’s simply grumpy because she has to leave me. Anyway, Kara, it’s not much of a big deal. We got together a few years ago. Back when Cat still worked for the Daily Planet, before starting her own adventure here. And well…” Lois shrugs, “we’re similar enough that inevitably it was either make out or throw punches and, well, one of those was clearly the superior option.” Lois then smirks. “Now if you want a ‘getting together story’, you might want to ask those two sitting right there.” She points, rather needlessly, at Alex and Lucy.

Alex’s face is bright red, while Lucy giggles. “Yeah, babe, why don’t you tell that story?”

Alex frowns, catching Lucy’s eye, “Babe, you know I hate telling that story.”

“That’s why I love making you tell it.” Lucy bats her eyelashes.

(Really, humans can be so odd.)

Alex sighs. “Fine, I’m telling it, but not because you batted your eyes at me. I’m telling it because if I don’t, one of you will and then Kara will get the very wrong impression about it.” Lucy cheers while Lois claps. Cat just gives them a fond look, before returning her eyes to her menu. “So, Kara. The short version is--”

“Tell the long version babe!”

“Not going to happen, babe. The short version is that, a few years ago, well… I wasn’t having the easiest time of things. With my brand new PhD and no job prospects, I was a bit lost. Anyway, I got this opportunity for an obscure governmental job, which advertised as needing a broad background in… biology and…” she glances over to Cat, whose eyes are still locked on her menu, “a few other sciences. I won’t bore you with the details. But, essentially, getting the job took a few different… and I still maintain, unusual steps. But I get to the final hurdle; it’s me and this other candidate. A dude whose name I don’t remember. We’re both sat down and talked to by someone from the legal department.” Alex makes a slight gesture toward Lucy. “And this guy is obnoxious, obviously staring and making suggestive comments about Lucy, interrupting me every time I speak up, and it’s… just a shitshow all around really.” She takes a deep breath. “So, I’m just trying to survive the rest of the interview and then flee, but… Lucy asks us a question about our experience, and he responds, I shit you not, ‘My experience is as exotic as you are’, and next thing I know, he’s on the floor bleeding from his nose, I’m standing, my fist hurts and I say--”

Lucy interrupts with an imitation of Alex. “If you’re going to flirt with the hottest woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, you’d better try harder than that.” 

Alex flushes. “That’s not what I said Luce! You know that. You were there!”

Lucy smirks. “It’s better, though, right?”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Yes, babe. It’s better than ‘I get she’s devastatingly pretty, but keep it in your fucking pants, you fucking asshole.’ I was going to add something in about how it was racist to call Lucy exotic, but security already came in and was dragging him away.”

Lucy presses a kiss to Alex’s cheek, whose seemingly permanent flush darkens. “My hero. Anyway, after that stunning and attractive display, I had to ask her to dinner, and from there our love only soared.”

Cat scoffs. “Disgusting, aren’t they?”

Lois simply presses another kiss on Cat’s cheek. “Absolutely, Kitty. Anyway, any dramatic tales of love for us, Kara?”

Fortunately, their waitress interrupted them, asking if what they want, and the conversation shifts to food; a subject Kara felt capable to actually discussing.

* * *

Cat simply interrupts half way through the lunch. “So Kiera’s an alien. Good to know.”

Kara almost chokes on her burger. Lois cackles, while Alex and Lucy shoot Kara apologetic glances.

Cat sighs and rolls her eyes. “Oh wipe that look off your face. First, these three,” she gestures at Lois, Lucy and Alex, “are terrible at keeping the secret that their work has to do with green men from Mars,” Alex pales, “in the bag. Second, if I had any interest in outing anyone about anything I would have told young Allie here,” she gestures at Alex, “that she was head over heels gay for young Lucille. But no, I kept my mouth shut. Because I’m not a monster.” She returns to eating her salad, and Kara, incapable of forming even basic sentences, just leaves it be. “Anyway, if I really cared, I’d be rushing to yours and picking up Carter right now. But I’m not.”

Lucy’s eyes grew wide. “Carter’s at yours?”

* * *

Lunch ends when Kara confirms to Lucy and Alex that, yes, Carter is at hers. Lucy, then, demands instructions to where “hers” is, and, once the rest of the food is hurriedly eaten and the bill paid, the five of them end up at Kara’s.

(It’s not that Kara doesn’t want them there, but it’s her _home_ , the only one she has left.)

When the assorted crew steps through the door, a sudden shout comes from the couch. “Lois! Lucy!” Carter smiles brightly, Kal sitting to his side. “I’d like to introduce you to my… friend Kal-El.”

Cat smirks. “I think you mean your boyfriend.”

Kal looks down in his lap and Carter blushes furiously, while Lucy and Lois laugh loudly.

Lois forces out her words between giggles. “What’s--what’s this? My little man now has--has a… a little boyfriend to match? God, you two are adorable.”

“No we’re not.” Carter’s voice is steady, a clear contrast to the flustered mess his fidgeting betrays.

Lois gets on her knees next to him, holding out her hand gently. Carter, after a moment, takes it. “Carter, are you telling us that Kal is not your boyfriend, or that you aren’t adorable? Remember, little man, clarity.”

(Her voice betrays the disconnect; she’s teasing, but oh so gently. Kara feels that she should be taking notes, if she didn’t feel like she were interrupting on an extremely _human_ moment.)

“Umm… we’re dating.” Smiles break out all around and general chatter amongst the human women. Kara takes the opportunity to slip into the kitchen.

Kara starts to prepare the kettle, filling up the water slowly, and pulling out several mugs.

(It’s not that she’s planning to start making tea; not at the moment. But even these steps relax her, focus her mind. Allow her to ignore the murmur of conversations in the next room.)

It’s a gentle clearing of the throat behind her which breaks Kara’s reverie. “They can be a little much, can’t they?” She turns around, only to be met by Alex. “We did just sort of steamroll into your home. I’m sorry about that; but Carter…” Alex shrugs. “Lois and Lucy both really love Carter. And, don’t get me wrong, I care about him too, but I’m not about to demand to see him at every opportunity.”

“It.. It is okay, Alex.”

“Is it though, Kara?”

“I…” Kara takes a deep breath, her fists clenching in her hands. “It is… difficult. There are so many things about being human I do not understand. Which, Rao, I acknowledge that that is just a fact. In the same way that there are so many things about being Kryptonian you do not understand. We are shaped by our culture and species.” She shakes her head, letting her fists unclench a little. “It just sometimes… gets to me, I think the phrase is. I do not know what will reveal me to be odd an inhuman. This…” she gestures at her home. “This is… all.”

“Kara…” Alex’s voice is soft. “If you are at all uncomfortable, you can ask us to leave. And, I hope, with us,” she gestures to the other room, “you can always tell us what makes you feel uncomfortable.”

Kara nods, giving a small smile. “Thanks Alex.”

(She’s not sure she believes it, but Alex accepts the smile and leaves; and less than twenty minutes later, everyone who’s not Kal is gone.)

(And Kal… Kal is beaming, so she supposes it wasn’t the worst interruption.)

* * *

It is a random Wednesday when Jess lays her hand over the check at lunch, stopping Kara from throwing down her part of the bill. Kara glances at Jess, confused.

(Jess is taking a few deep breaths, her eyes closed, as if she’s willing herself to speak up about something… important.)

After a few moments, she opens her eyes and catches Kara’s. “Hey, Kara?”

“Yes Jess?”

“Would you like to go get dinner?”

Kara frowns. “Right now?” She gestures at the café they _just_ finished eating at.

(It’s not that Kara couldn’t go for more food; it’s that she realized early that humans don’t.) 

Jess laughs. “No, not right now. Sometime later. As a date.” And… _oh._

She hadn’t thought of Jess like that previously; hadn’t thought about any individual in such terms.

(Humans are so _weird_ , especially with how they handle romance and love. It’s odd, not to have that guarantee that the Matrix offers. And yet they throw themselves out there anyway, looking for everything that the Matrix gave on Krypton, and more. All with a single person too.)

(And she knows, from what she can overhear, that humans do and can find her attractive. But she doesn’t know what that _means_. When eyes rake over her, when their heartbeats slightly increase, their pupils dilate, what sensation are they feeling? She knows what it looks like to be attracted, but she doesn’t know how it _feels_.)

But Kara likes Jess, and might even consider her a friend. And she won’t deny that Jess is… aesthetically pleasing. Jess is not the worst potential match.

(And Kara thinks about Cat and Lois, Alex and Lucy. Kal and Carter. Maybe… Maybe it can be something good.)

Kara smiles. “Sure, I would love go out on a date with you.”

“Friday after work?”

Kara nods. “That sounds perfect.”

* * *

Going on a date with Jess, apparently, means that Lena Luthor makes a triumphant reappearance in Kara’s life. After all, it’s the Thursday that Kara’s summoned to Lena’s office. And when she arrives, Lena’s already sitting behind her desk, silent, observing Kara. Kara sits across from her, and fidgets slightly in the silence.

(Lena’s dressed darkly, lips painted a bright red, and her hair is pulled back in a tight ponytail. It’s so reminiscent of the first time that she met Lena, and yet there’s no trace of humour in her face or eyes. Just… a slight amount of steel hiding whatever lays underneath.)

Lena’s voice, so matter of fact, startles Kara. “Jess told me something interesting yesterday, Kara. And, if you’re going to be dating Jess, I need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

Kara looks at Lena, confused. “Excuse me?”

She shakes her head. “I know that you have… difficulties, sometime, with understanding humans and our behaviours. And that’s… that’s fine, it’s not really that big of a deal most of the time. You manage quite well. But…” She closes her eyes for a second, slightly touching her forehead. “But this is another person; this is _Jess_. If you agreed because you think it will help you blend in or because that’s what humans do, then I’m telling you now. Call it off. Don’t hurt Jess like that.”

Kara nods. “Lena… I cannot say I know what I’m doing. I have… never been on a date before. I do not even know if I am capable of feeling… whatever it is humans feel. But… Kal is. Kal _does_. I cannot guarantee we will... match, but I want to try."

Lena takes a breath. “Okay.” And another. “Okay.” Then her face lightens up, and she gives a brief smile. “You can go now. Make sure to wear something blue. I know you’re going after work so you won’t have time to change, but it’s definitely your colour.” 

As Kara stands, Lena’s face relaxes. “Hey Kara?”

“Yes?”

“Do you… maybe want to start Kryptoniou lessons sometime soon? Like next week, maybe?”

Kara smiles softly. “It would be my pleasure.”

* * *

By the time that they finish work on Friday, it’s late and so Jess and Kara end up at a small dim sum restaurant, tucked away in a quiet corner.

(Kara’s never been before, but as soon as they near it, she _knows_ she’s going to love it; never has she smelt something so good before.)

(She’s proven absolutely correct with her first bite; something called a jiaozi. She makes a mental note to learn everything about this dish that she can.)

As Kara’s polishing off yet another plate, Jess glances at Kara. “I have never seen anyone take to this place like you did. You seem to be really enjoying yourself.”

Kara nods and grins. “I am! It has been a while since I had a meal this good.”

(Since _Krypton_ , she doesn’t say. For the sake of the evening, she’s trying, oh so hard, to keep thoughts like that far away; she’s not very successful, however.)

(And she still doesn’t know if Jess knows; not about Kara. Kara’s fairly confident Jess doesn’t know she’s an alien. But about aliens in general. Does she know where Lena and Kara go? Does she suspect?)

(A question, she supposes, to ask Lena, next time she sees her.)

Think of the Devil, as Kara ponders, Jess moves the conversation onward. “You know, Ms. Luthor seemed rather interested in our date.”

“Really? Lena was interested in our date?”

Jess nods. “When I told her about it, she told me that I better allow you to move at your own pace, which, I mean, is absolutely useless advice. She knows, of course, that of course we’d move at a reasonable pace for both of us. She’s such a worrywart. She doesn’t like to show it, but I think she’s quite fond of you.”

(A memory of ”you’re my best friend” flashes through Kara’s mind.)

(Kara knows better than Jess might think.)

Kara laughs. “She told me I better be sure that I wanted to go out on a date with you. So I think she is fond of the both of us.”

“That does sound like our Ms. Luthor.”

“It does indeed.” Kara and Jess smile at each other, both of them caught in a moment of quiet.

And as the dinner carries on, they swap stories and minor work complaints. Kara tells Jess all about how Kal and Carter are doing (Jess is apparently rooting for them, whatever that means), and Jess tells a brief anecdote about how she brought her one of her pets to the vet because she thought he ate one of her earrings. She had been wearing them the entire time.

(In essence, it’s light yet personal. And something settles nicely within Kara at it.)

All in all, it feels hardly a moment has passed before Kara has to bid Jess a goodnight.

They’re standing outside of Jess’ car; the date almost officially over. The two of them are standing pressed together, side by side.

(Jess had sidled up next to Kara as soon as they stepped out of the restaurant, muttering under her breath about how the hell is Kara so warm?)

“May I kiss you?”

(Kara doesn’t know if she wants to be kissed; she doesn’t know what _want_ necessarily entails. But…)

(She’s tired of not knowing.)

Kara nods. “Y-yes.”

Lips press tentatively against Kara’s own, and on instinct, Kara finds her hands placed on Jess’ waist, steadying her. And, _oh_ Kara enjoys the slight pressure against her lips, the way that Jess’ waist feels under her fingertips, the subtle movements Jess makes as if she can’t remain still. Kara enjoys the way that Jess’ hands travel to touch Kara’s cheek, holding her head in place.

After a few moments, Jess parts, leaving her head a few inches away from Kara’s. “So I could say that this was a successful date?”

Kara can’t find it in herself to do anything but nod.

“And maybe we can do it again sometime?”

Kara nods again.

Jess smiles. “Good. Text me when you get home safely.” And then she’s in her car, driving away.

A successful first date indeed.

* * *

It’s late on a Sunday when Alex, and not Lena, calls her to the DEO-Cadmus joint operations.

Alex simply says “we think we might have found one of yours,” before Kara is rushing as quickly as possible.

(She realizes she doesn’t know the way; not really. She’s never been on her own, only ever following after Lena, and then she’s usually a bit… distracted. And yet… she listens for that dullness, the emptiness that comes with the DEO-Cadmus base. It’s a few wrong places before she finally manages; wasted minutes on her own.)

And when she makes it, she’s quickly guided through the base by a silent Alex, who simply shakes her head when Kara opens her mouth to talk. “I’ll fill you in later. First, we have to get in there.”

They stop in front of a door and Alex knocks. And in the moment between the knock and Alex opening the door, Kara is left to her own thoughts.

(Or thought, really. A single phrase, chanted over and over again. _Did they find a new Kryptonian? Who is it?_ fills her mind as if a chant.)

A tall woman stands, jaws clenched, sword in hand, armor cut rather… interestingly. Across the room from her a thin man’s eyes are darting around, nervously, a red bodysuit on, with a mask obscuring his face.

J’onn stands in the middle of the room, glaring at the two newcomers. “Now that we have everyone. Who are either of you?”

The woman speaks up first, her voice proud and strong, unyielding. “I am Diana, Princess of Themyscira.”

The other man gives a brief wave. “And I’m the Flash.” At the blank looks he receives, he tries again. “The Flash? Fastest man in the world? Superhero? No?” He looks downcast. “Where the hell even am I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm... there are so many things that I wanted to say here but I forgot them all. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> A quick reminder to everyone that SuperCorp is definitely end game. Jess is a bit like Adam, except better and more relevant.
> 
> I just wanted Jess to have more screen time then.
> 
> Yell at me! Here! On Tumblr! @alienbeegenders!
> 
> And now I have to run again to meet someone for a thing! Love y'all!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get about 0 answers and a lot more questions.
> 
> At least some of it is gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *puts in relevant, I'm super super late apology* I mean I really really am sorry that it took me so long! I just... Life got in the way, I didn't like writing this chapter, I've started putting my energy to other projects and tbh, Supergirl's shit depresses me when other tv shows make me feel good.
> 
> And honestly I don't like this chapter very much. It's disjointed, all over the place, but kinda... important? More specifically this chapter and the next one were originally one chapter but then I realized that would have been way too long. Lots is left unexplained as well.
> 
> All the characters feel a little OoC for reasons that hopefully will be explained next chapter but for now you just kinda have to deal with it. Sorry.
> 
> Edit: Oops, human error meant that most of the chapter was centered, instead of the bits that I actually wanted to be centered. That's all fixed now.

Once a handful more operatives have shuffled in (those unlucky enough to be working the late shift, or were called in) Alex is the one who takes over the situation. 

(For whatever reason, Kara notices Alex can’t really meet Diana in the eye, and her heart flutters each time eye contact is accidentally made. But that’s a query for later.)

Alex takes control of the situation by loudly yelling: “Okay! Enough!” Considering that the room has been silent for the last minute or so, Kara’s not really sure what’s “enough”, but it does get everyone to center their attention on her.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. We have no idea who either of you are, or where you came from. So what we’re going to do is--” Alex trails off, as she sneaks a side glance at J’onn, with a small quirk of her eyebrow. He doesn’t move at all in response.

(And that… That’s a fact. Kara’s eyes are planted firmly on him and yet… nothing. Whatever he communicates to Alex, it doesn’t require movement on his part.)

Alex continues speaking. “So you, Princess Diana, will follow Major Lane,” Lucy steps forward, nodding slightly at Diana, “and you… ‘Flash’ shall follow--” Alex casts her eyes around before her lips quirk a small smile. “Agent Schott.”

Winn steps forward, eyes shining slightly, as he gives a small wave. “Yup that’s me! She wants you to follow me! Flash. I also have about… twenty questions regarding your suit? So--” Alex clears her throat. “I mean, yes. Just follow me. Questions are for later.”

The room falls silent for a moment, as everyone turns their eyes back to Alex. Who then turns her eyes to J’onn.

Now J’onn moves; quirking his eyebrow. “Major Lane, Agent Schott. You are dismissed.”

Lucy and Winn salutes; Lucy’s crisp and professional, Winn’s… relatively sloppy.

(He may have, just a little, accidentally hit himself in the face.)

The four shuffle out before J’onn turns his gaze to everyone one else in the room. “Now, Agent Danvers, Kara. You’re with me. Everyone else, also dismissed.”

He steps out, Alex falling in stride; Kara is left to scramble for a moment.

(Kara wonders, not for the first time, how their synchronicity came to be; perhaps, if J’onn is the telepath he purports to be, maybe that way? She’s… unsure.)

* * *

J’onn has sequestered the three of them in a small security room; monitors set to two interrogation rooms.

(Kara’s heart dives a little; the ghost sensation of handcuffs wrapped around her wrists burning. Anger… Anger settles in her stomach; she attempts to pushes it away.)

“So, first things first. Kara, is… ‘The Flash’” a quick grimace pulls its way onto his face, and Kara can’t find it in her to disagree, “and/or this… Princess Diana, Kryptonian?”

Kara shakes her head.

(And the disappointment… the disappointment flutters down to rest upon the anger.)

“‘The Flash’ is definitely human. His body sounds it at least. Diana…”

(The brief memory of a thumping heart; fluttering in ways that she’s never heard before. Memory of blood, flowing, not unlike Kal’s or her own, but too… too distinct. Diana is… something.)

“Diana is not human. Her body does not sound like a human’s. But I do not believe she is of His People, though I do not have many examples by which to compare.”

After a moment, Alex speaks up. “And to clarify, when you say that their bodies do or do not sound like a human’s you mean?”

Annoyance joins the soup that’s stewing within Kara. “I mean what I said.”

“So, you can… hear bodies?”

Kara nods. “Yes, I can ‘hear’ bodies. Species have their own unique internal structures. How my body is structured is very different to how yours is, and both are very different to how,” she nods at J’onn “yours does. This means they sound differently.”

Alex nods, her eyes distant; a look that Kara has learnt means that she’s filing away information, putting it together with the broader whole.

J’onn speaks up. “So, the end result is that neither are Kryptonian, but only this ‘Flash’ is human?” Kara nods. “Understood. I will personally oversee the questionings, and you two are to remain on the base until dismissed; however you are both on call, not on duty. Understood?”

Alex nods. So does Kara.

(Kara doesn’t really understand, but she believes that, as long as she follows Alex’s lead, she’ll be fine.)

“Good. Dismissed.” He leaves the room; and leaves the two of them on their own.

Before Kara even gets a chance to ask Alex what exactly ‘on call, not on duty’ means, Alex speaks up. “Hey Kara?”

“Yes?”

“I… I have something I’d like to show you. If you don’t mind.”

“What is it?”

Alex pauses, her eyes looking away to a corner of the room. “It’s… It’s something important to me.”

(And… at that point, how could Kara say no?)

* * *

Alex shows Kara to a rather large room; no one else is in it. In the corner is a small candle-holder; nine pronged. It’s this object that Alex sits in front of. Kara sits next to her, waiting.

After a few moments, Alex speaks up. “It’s the first night of Chanukkah. It’s… well it’s not really an important holiday, not really. But… It became a big deal. For lots of long and complicated and slightly awful historical reasons. And…” She takes a deep breath. “The lighting of the candles was… my dad’s favourite part. He--” She cuts herself off. “I was wondering if you’d like to join me; you don’t have to say the prayer, if you don’t want to. I just… You…” Alex trails off into silence.

Kara speaks. “We… have a similar tradition. We would burn candles for an entire lorakh. The candles represent Rao’s light, and the blessings He has given us.”

“For us… it’s a victory. One in a long line; we… Our history isn’t a happy one.” Alex shrugs. “But yet, we’re still here.” She picks up a box of matches. “I’m going to begin the ceremony, if that’s okay with you.”

“That is fine.”

Alex lights and match, and puts it against the wick of the middle candle. She begins to speak; rhythmically. “Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu l'had'lik neir shel Chanukkah.” With that, she picks the candle up and lights the leftmost candle.

The two lapse into silence.

(Kara doesn’t point out the small hitches in Alex’s breath, or how her cheeks are streaked with damp trails after a few moments.)

(Alex doesn’t mention how Kara’s lips curve and curl, reciting, reciting, even as she says nothing.)

(The two lapse into a silence which _screams_.)

* * *

Several hours pass, during which Kara finds herself restless. After a single hour, J’onn had requested Alex’s presence, and Kara found herself on her own.

(She doesn’t stay in the prayer room for long; without Alex, her thoughts wander to _Rao_ and His people. Her thoughts wander to Kal and Astra.)

(Her thoughts wander to Krypton.)

The base is quiet at this time; even the low hum she’s come to associate with it has toned down.

(She doesn’t know whether to be relieved or not; the hum has taken on a sinister note in the last few weeks. Ever since she encountered… whatever it is that powers this base.)

So, it is by pure accident that she finds herself, late in the night, wandering into the main command; and she doesn’t seem to be the only one. Winn, Alex and Lucy all are in there; there is no J’onn however.

She sees Lucy and Alex huddled together, and, for curiosity’s sake she opens her ears to their whispered conversation from across the room.

First, Alex. “Babe.”

And in response, Lucy. “ _Babe_.”

“Baaaabe.”

“Babe that lady we have in holding--”

“Diana.”

“Yeah, her. Babe. She said--”

“Babe, I know.”

“Babe, is she a good guy?”

“I think so babe.”

“So babe…”

“Yes babe?”

“Babe it would be okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Babe we gotta.”

“Babe?”

“Babe yes, we gotta.”

“Babe, _no_.”

“Babe, _yes_.”

“Babe, you think--”

“Babe, if we don’t.”

“Babe fine, let’s.”

They begin to make their way to the nearest door, only to find that J’onn blocks their way. “Major Lane! Agent Danvers! You are not allowed to have… sexual relations with anyone on the base, nevermind someone who is still being treated as a potential hostile.”

Lucy freezes, her voice lowering to a mere whisper. “Oh _shit_ , we’ve been caught.” Taking a breath, she speaks up. “Director Henshaw, I am unsure what you are talking about.”

J’onn doesn’t back down. “Very recent events have… forced me to reconsider, and I have decided to change my mind about what, exactly, is going to be done with our guests. Agent Schott, you can continue to keep watch over Mr. Allen,” J’onn freezes a little as Winn’s face lights up, and his (Winn’s) heart starts to speed. The exact look on his (J’onn’s) face could be best described as regretful. Kara supposes that Mr. Allen is probably ‘The Flash’. “And Kara, it has become…” he glances over at Alex and Lucy, “a necessity that Diana be kept off base. We also do not wish to transfer her to some other safe house or secured location that is under our control due to…” another look over at Alex and Lucy; more of a glare this time. Lucy and Alex both blush deeply “concerns. So she is to stay with you. Understood?”

* * *

The process of housing Diana turns out to be fairly simple. All she has is the clothes’ she is wearing and her weaponry.

(Which is, surprisingly, more than just the sword; it also includes a peculiar lasso.)

Despite its simplicity, it’s time-consuming.

First, there’s the travel.

(The sun has already begun to peek from beyond the horizon by the time they left; by the time that they arrived at Kara’s, it is well into morning.)

Then, there’s the DEO-Cadmus personnel; forced to check each and every nook and cranny, before they set up their own perimeter around the building.

(Kara is just glad that Kal had already gone off to school; hopefully. That would shorten the process somewhat.)

But, really, the most time-consuming part of this whole thing is Diana herself.

Diana calls out from the kitchen. “Kara?”

“Yes, Diana?”

“What is this?”

She’s pointing at the coffeemaker. Which, Kara helpfully informs her. “It’s a coffeemaker.”

(This back and forth has been playing for the entire time; Diana noticing something, asks Kara about it. Kara, for her part, does her best to answer.)

(There’s a quick pang in Kara’s stomach; the anger, disappointment, annoyance and all the rest being smothered in a sauce of melancholy. These are the questions she wish someone would have answered for her when she came to Earth.)

It’s near noon when Kara hears a knock on her door. And, on the other side, Lena.

“Kara, I did hear that you’re stuck with… Well, stuck here at your home for the next while and so I decided--” She stops, taking in the presence of Diana, sitting casually on Kara’s couch. She swallows. (It’s as loud as a symphony to Kara’s ears.) “Umm… I decided to… to swing by and check on you and thought maybe… Ummm…” Lena pauses, her heart pounding. “Sorry I’m being rude. Lena Luthor. And you are?” She reaches out a hand; DIana gives it a firm shake.

(The tension in Lena’s knees gives out for a brief moment. She doesn’t sway, but she comes close to it.)

“I am Diana, Princess of Themyscira. I am… very honoured to make your acquaintance.” Diana smirks; Lena freezes.

“Ah, yes, interesting. Do--do you mind if I borrow Kara for a moment?”

Diana merely shakes her head. “Of course I don’t mind.”

“Cool. Thanks. Umm… Kara, is there a place where we can step aside? Like… maybe your bedroom?”

(Lena’s entire body freezes as soon as she said that; the only exception is the very confusing path that her blood is taking, rushing both to her head and down her body at the same time.)

(It’s… a little concerning to be honest, so perhaps having a bed on hand is not the worst option.)

So Kara simply nods. “It is no issue, follow me. Diana, we will be in my bedroom if need be.”

“If you need me for… any reason in there, just let me know.”

Lena’s face, at this point, has frozen into a something unreadable; or rather, it tells too many stories: shock, attraction, fear, excitement. 

(And here… here a puzzle piece slots itself in Kara’s mind.)

As the door swings shut behind them, Kara gestures to the bed. “Please sit.” Lena sighs and does so, her posture rigid. “And, in case you were wondering, yes, Diana has shown a large degree of sexual availability.”

Lena squeaks, her eyes avoidant and body fidgeting ceaselessly. “Excuse me? I wasn’t… I-- It--”

Kara shrugs. “Lucy and Alex had a similar reaction to Diana earlier.”

Lena sighs and her body loses all its tension; her posture loosening quite a bit. “Of course they did.”

Kara sits next to her on the bed. “It… was not very subtle.”

Lena chuckles. “They usually aren’t.” After a few moments, Lena speaks up again. “I haven’t asked, but it seems like you are just sort of okay with human sexualities. I mean, I guess of course you are, since you and Jess went out on Friday. On a _date_.” The way in which Lena stresses the word catches Kara as odd; but she’s also tired.

Kara lays back, relaxing somewhat. There’s a heaviness in her eyes, the night catching up with her. So she lets them close softly. “Honestly, human sexualities and genders make no sense to me.”

Lena lays back next to Kara, their warmths mingling. “Oh?”

Kara shrugs, rolling onto her side to face Lena, as she plucks the glasses off of her face and toses them to one side. Hopefully she won’t accidentally roll over on them. Or step on them. Or any other number of possibilities. “They don’t. On… On Krypton, our concept of gender is so different; as is our reproduction.”

She feels Lena turnover as well. “So, it doesn’t bother you that I’m gay?”

Kara shakes her head; well as much as one can shake their head while laying on their side. “Only inasmuch as ‘being gay’ does not make sense to me. Love…” Kara trails off with a yawn. “Love is one of Krypton’s highest virtues. More in the religious and classical sense, here on Earth. But, well…” Kara’s voice fades as her mind slows down. “I have hoped I could find that here. Lately…” Words begin to lose their shape and meaning, until a single one forces its way onto Kara’s tongue. “ _shahrrehth_.”

Then… darkness; a dreamless sleep.

(She awakes a few hours later, to a warmth, to _Lena_ , curled up into her side, Kara’s arms wrapped around her waist. It’s… comfortable. She wonders, briefly, what it would be like to hold Jess like this; if it would feel as good.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for putting this on you. Hopefully the next chapter is better.
> 
> Also I'm leaving the Kryptoniou untranslated mostly b/c the first bit of it isn't really important (and is quite easily discoverable from context) and I want to see if people are curious enough to figure out the second on their own.
> 
> Also I'm lazy. But that's totally not important.
> 
> See you hopefully soon.

**Author's Note:**

> The concept of Kryptonian trilling comes from Rhino(RhinoMouse)'s excellent fic Experiment 13.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and, please come yell at me either down in the comments or on tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> EDIT: I just want to say something because it's not what I usually do.
> 
> Usually when I tag something as "Creator Chose not to Use Archive Warnings", it really means that I might stray into the territory that may require a warning without intending it, or because I touch on topics that aren't really any of the major warning tags, but might be safe to warn people about.
> 
> However this fic, I am intentionally using this not to spoil the story. That being said, this fic will _not_ have Underage and will _not_ have Rape/Non-Con.
> 
> So if it is a real problem for you if either character death or graphic depictions of violence, please don't read this fic, since I cannot guarantee that this fic will be all kosher to read. Please be safe! I love you all!


End file.
